my conciliatory to fallacy

my diffident.self

name- does it matter.honestly?
year- 29091986
location- land of broken hearts.
& shattered souls
music- punk rock.hardcore.emo.metalcore.
emocore.pop.jazz.oldies like Ritchie Valens
contact- emokills187@hotmail.com
screenname- emokills

"im just a kid sacrifices made will i get anything out from it?maybe one fine day.it's all bottled up inside it's been awhile.
even as the world sharpens beneath me i'll just pretend & smile.but it doesn't matter cuz i won't been missed i'll just leave a letter"

memory.lane
a day@CreativeCenter
date.movie
friday.night fever
cycling
new year.morning
new year05/06
christmas05'
LaoPaSat
melaniemurders2nd gig.the.discordant project
2yr.anniversary
my babys.birthday
suntec.summit2
suntec.summit
breaking fast.ite-mp
julz being....errr...julz <3
ripples pub.mr&miss
my happiest.& only 19th birthday
nokia.starlight cinema
ite simei.classmates
100905
memories of you.will never.fade away.
melanie murders first.gig
people.in my life
bay beats o4'

setting my wings.ablaze

Friday, August 26

so much to say after the camp.so much ive felt.it was ok.kinda bored at first as my group members were'nt adpted to the environment & team-mates yet.mann im still feeling the after effects of the fever.so weak to type.but what the heck.been wasting my hols at home cuz of my fever.luckily its not dengue.went 4 a blood test.back to the camp.my group was ok.quite a group.theres bob the ever so rebel but joker of the group, nurul who says shes no minah but acts like one.hakim the weighting balance.sina the cute little helpful hardwerking gal.ainn the strange morbid girl.khai the slenger dude who talks alot confidently but ends up being a wimp.zul the fag.hahaha.kason the brains that evryone was depending on too much.the rest were ok.but i enjoyed the nights there.sat by the pond or lagoon or watever its called till the wee hours of the morning with ika.laffed smiled.had alota fun with her.to me the best part of the camp was the nights & the last day.i miss it already.the full moon right above yur head,the un-empty sky filled with glittering stars & the occasional splashes of water from those mysterious fishes.ahh.it was brilliantly magnificent.she just took me away & brought me into her world.eventhough it was tiring & probabaly the cause of my fever,i dun regret having spent that time with her.kinda sad though that i dinn get to hang out with the guys but y include yurself when yur not being called in the group.might as well i went to someone who WANTS me for company.but im grateful that yan did remeber.just that i switched off my hp liao.

got sick on the last day.sway.my eyes as usual swollened up like i got beat up by mike tyson.wasnt in the clebrating mood.but i cried.yep.very emotional goodbyes.i liked them.cloud 9.hahaa.what a kental name.but at least we won 3rd prize!!im happy 4 them.their hardwerk & determination.though i beleive some dont deserve it.but were a team.bygones.floor was very emo too.poor floorina.hhaha.nak step mak saleh jer nama.haha.but i wana say thankz for helping me out.without yur help i dunt think i cud ever survive the camp & the kids.thanxx floor.

its strange that ppl only remember those forgotten when something happens to them.its sad.after all iv been through in life.the loneliness,the "family" i had,the ppl who call themselves my "friends" & as usual i always tot how worse can it get as it is.& reality slaps me right in the face.i was left behind.LEFT BEHIND.how many ppl get left behind?they doo when they are unable to cont their journey or when they are asked too.but i was forgotten.after all that happened,this had to happen to me.its the worst that ive been through.this is ubin for gods sake!!u talk about welfare & shit & u leave one of your ppl behind??talk is cheap.i cried throughout the whole journey of the ferry.yan was the only one who remembered.im grateful that he did.w/o him i think id kill myself on that island knowing that no one knows of my existence.it was very heart felt when yan cried seeing me that way.i cried even more.we talked till 830 wen we reached punggoll.tannxx 4 letting me open up.i din noe he knew so much about me that even i was surprised.but still.i AM INSIGNIFICANT.will always be....ill cry mysellf too sleep everyday.knowing no one understand me.but yet again as i write this her name pops up in my head.cuz she's the only 1 who ever truely listened & understood me.she was my journal.she's my poem.strange that after 19 yrs of my life it only took her a yr&8months or less to be one wih my heart...............

||my heart.bled||10:00 AM