Xxleave me alonexX

ludge

2007-05-26T00:41:00.000+08:00

haiz..how many times have i said that things in this world are indeed strange??its like a river..you never know when its gonna be high or low..mind you i said river..not sea or ocean yah..but at least the waters still flowing..which i thank god for..well..some updates..julz & i went to sentosa..she planned the whole day..sweet lil girl..we took the sky ride & the luge..which was freakin fast..hahah..i felt like a speed demon for once..haha..

in the bus to sentosa

the attentions not on us.but the look on the guys face behind us.facial expression MAUT punya!!

we're hip-hopers yo!!fo sho!!hahah

adorable ain't she?

she's way cuter than i am =)

our feet were dangling

f this pict was suppose to look as if we were driving a truck.but apparently the person DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE A STUPID SIMPLE PICTURE!!!

& TO THINK THEY WERE TOURISTS!!!SHEESH!!!.....

so much for that..well after that we headed down to vivocity..planned to catch a movie but only front row seats were left..so we walked around & i felt like havin sum meat but aals i cudnt find any =( so we headed to sg river.sat there for a while cuz julz said we had reservations at 9.sumwhere where we were gonna have dessert.haha.but boy was i in for a surpise.that cheeky lil girl told me she wanted to use the toilet at fullerton.unaware she brought me in fullerton & headed to the chocolate buffet!!!& i was like WHAT THE!!shit man.hahaha.aiyah.cant blame me mah.first time eating in fullerton.one of THE most posh hotels in singapore.wadya expect??!!haha.but i felt so wrong.wearing a polo with a skull & bone on it eating in fullerton.hahaha.but it was rad.a chocolate buffet.yum yum.& surprisingly chocolate goes very & i mean VERY freakin well with tea..added with two cubes of sugar of course.hehehe.saawweeetttaahhh!!!

jakun!!hahaha

chocolate fondue..or sumthing like that..hahaha
chocolates may melt in my mouth & hands..but looking at her melts my heart =)

fullerton babe!!haha

like minister or not??haha

sexy-tarywhat a fun, sweaty yet super splendid day

more happened after that.haha.but i wont go into details.maybe the next post.there were some "ugly" & dizzy moments.haha.till next time.

its not over

2007-04-07T05:57:00.000+08:00

Chris Daughtry - It's Not Over

I was blown away
What could I say
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything
And I can't deal with that.

I try to see the good in life.
But good things in life are hard to find.
I'll blow it away, blow it away
Can we make this something good?

(Well I'll try to do to it right this time around)
Let's start over,
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We're wasting too much time
Being strong and holding on
Can't let it bring us down

My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
I'll blow it away, blow it away

Can we make this something good?
Cause it's all misunderstood

(Well I'll try to do to it right this time around)
Let's start over,
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

We can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out.

Let's start over
Well try to do to it right this time around
Its not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over.

Lets start over
Its not over
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over

forgive recording

2007-04-06T04:49:00.000+08:00

weeeee.gt back an hour ago.kinda tired but i stayed up to watch the tele & eat my super duper late supper.haha.i gez if i din eat the food big kahuna bought she wud go berzerkerz 2mro!!haha.today was hectic.slept for like an hour or 2 only cuz i was trying to figure out lyrics for FORGIVES song.had to wake up at 7 to go to werk.then went to meet the guys at town in the evening for recording at TNT.first time being in a recording studio.was shit load full of nerves sia.hahaha.my lyrics werent done.faeroz & ahmad.k took 2 & a half to lay down their parts for the 5 songs.ahmad & i only took a few takes.gosh it was freakin weird man.recording.listening to yur own stupid voice.the sucky part was nt being able to hold the mic.it was sssoooooooooooooooooooooo hard.i really tip my hat to those "screamers"/"gore-rers" who do recording.its really hard.trust me.sounds & seem easy but now i understand.shit dude.haha.but im very & i mean very stoked bout the songs.finally complete with gang chants & all.was very rushing.VERY!!plus my lyrics any-oh-how hantam.but what to do.faeroz wanted to finish it by today.so left for mr ah boy to mix.we started at 6 & finished at 11.40 like that.cant wait to hear the full thing.so excited.this sat duxton plains turn.recordin at snakeweed.cant wait for that.

so after that we went to bencoolen street.the kedai2 kopi near gas haus there.faeroz,ahmad,jai frm overthrown & one more dude frm LCHC which i forgot his name.hehe.sat there lepak.talked crap till like 2.45.then headed off to the 7 11 & bought ourselves a big gulp.then sat infront of this fashion.talk more crap & walked all the way to the bus stop at city hall.took night rider number ONE!!..by the time i gt home was like 3.45 i think.haha.it was a good day.new experience.eventhough tiring.

goo goo

2007-03-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

recently ive been goin goo goo over the goo goo dolls.its nice to listen to some ol school alternative rock stuff.ive been really contemplating alot lately.about almost everything.haiz.i just don't know.lifes been hard.mentally.its weighing me down heavily.i feel like ive gt something to let go.or shud i say something to put back in my mind.its like a pc without a mouse or keyboard.you cant really do much without it.heck you can't do anything with it.k.wait.im like goin over the point here.hmm.ntahlah.i wish for better days.im in the mood for goo goo dolls & their dreamy guitar riffs & oh so sweet singing tunes & lyrics.i wish i cud do that.dreamy guitar riffs.oh yeah.so far im liking the progression of duxtons song writting.loving it.

i guess i can relate to this song.all i can do is see you frm a far.but no doubt i'll still be the greatest fan of you'r life.

Goo Goo Dolls-I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder

The strands in your eyes
That color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains

Thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival
You're my living proof

My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've dropped out
Burned up
Fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in
Turned on
Remembered the things you said

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicideI
'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of you life

sun burnt

2007-03-26T14:44:00.000+08:00

ooowwwwww.my back hurts as much as my heartache.cheh.haha.no.but seriously ah.my sun burn is really bad man.ive neva been this "red" before.DP,eliss & isma went to the beach yesterday.we had our "summer beach" outing.hahaha.finaly.a day that had nothing to do with music or GAMES!!!or anything else.juz lepak at the beach.played chee ko pak in the water.haha.were also aspiring sand sculpturists.haha.had fun.then we went to eat at mc Dz.as the gals went off we sessioned at the back of vivo.finally.a proper acoustic set with su's voice in it.haha.oh & btw we saw alota beautiful ppl yesterday at the sentosa.haha.although all "ang mohs" they were all so wow wee wow.k.it was quite a bz week 4 me so let me recap

on thursday i went out with cna.to be honest i was a nervous wreck.i think its been like 6months or more since the last time i went out with another girl one on one.but it went better than i expected.we went to watch mr bean goes on a holiday.it was freakin hilarious sia.we laffed like hell sia in the cinema.haha.tak habez2 dgn "graciaz" dier & i went crazy when he was begging this lady for money & tried speaking french.ended up he was mumbling all the way.haha.freakin funny sia.then we walked & walked & walked.haha.we took a bus at ps to go to marina but ended up the bus din stop anywhere near marina.haha.it stopped at espla.so we walked AGAIN.haha.ate at the marina foodcourt.boy oh boy.cna may be small & short but she can def eat.haha.she bought a hor fun chicken thing.it was like huge but she managed to finish it by herself.then we went to buy ciggies at 7-eleven.haha.funny sia.the floor was shaking vigorously then we were like.eh.y ah?earthquake eh?padahal kat atas they were doing construction werks.haha.then we lepaked at esplanade.talked & talked.sheesh.i tot i had a long relationship of 3 yrs.hers was like 4 or 5 yrs man.datz freakin long.then i sent her home.nice place sembawang.ver clean.then she intro me to her neighbours.it was nice to see the neighbourhood very like friendly ah.all lepak togther.nope.nt the mats nor minahz tau.but makciks & aunties instead.haha.yeah.then we sat at the playground infront of her block & talked again.her mom kept callin her to go up.she went up when her mom like called her on the 5th time.haha.it was nice goin out wit her.very simple laid back kinda person.i had fun.

then on fri i met wan.went for the "interview" at his hotel which consisted me of just filling in a form.haha.dat was it seh.hahaha.but im having 2nd tots on the job ah cuz ill have to shave my beard man.damn.haha.see how lah.then we went to meet his friend who werks at Gant at taka cuz wan was suppose to go for a job interview.went to pacifil plaza for his interview then went to paragon & heeren.all this while his friend was accompanying us.supposedly he was werking.but oddly enogh his 1 hour break came to be a close to 2 hours break.haha.slack sia.haha.we then went to eat at esteller at far east.then bumped into the crazy azrie & his frenz.tak habez kacau aku psl rahima jer.hahah.then wan & i wnt off to penin to search for some pants or wateva.we went our ways at like 7 or so.i met aidil & eliss.headed dwn to suntecs starbuxx.su joined us a while later.

sat was a slack day.jammed for only an hour cuz su was late.he had floorball training.nvm.understandable.then we headed down to dwn twn east chalet for a birthday chalet by anvea frm the band misissued.ish.actually i was half hearted to be there.cuz apparently we all aren't aquanted to her.but eliss needed company.so we tot wat the hell.like evryone was there.the bands.the ppl.haha.but it was gd to minggle around & meet new ppl.i juz wished that the rest of the boys wud be more open & interact more with the ppl.nvm.oh & there was this super hot "ang moh-mixx with like chinese-or dun noe wat" babe!!!!hahah.she was wearing this white dress.& her ermmm."assets" may i call it.haha.were perfect man.haha.all of us kept starring seh.haha.k.wait.i juz noticed this post is like really super long.hahaha.k2.i think ill stop for now.haha.till next time

baywatch auditions

i had no other choice but to sensor my "belly" to protect those who are ill-fainted.its for the best of the public eye.....hahahahah

high hopes

2007-03-24T02:31:00.000+08:00

i don't know what to say or what to do.or shud i say what "not" to do.but i gez sum ppl are right.i can't rely too much on what i want.i can't have high hopes.it sucks to kinda feel that what they say is true.that having high hopes wunt get you anywhere or give you anything other then pain & misery when you don't get it.but i just can't help then to hope.to have it all back.the beautiful moments.the laughter.the feeling of all the warm & fuzzy unexplainable things that go thru my stomach.the sigh of relief when im in the bus thinking of how grateful life can be.as much as i dun like listening to ppls advice i cant help but to think that what they say makes sense.but...at the same time.y?y cant one have high hopes?y izit wrong?but at the same time.y izit so heart wrenching??y izit so painful?i yearn for love.i try so hard.how do those guys who don't even bother & take it for granted get so much affection??.what special powers do they posses?.... i still can't beleive whats happened.but i gez all i can do now is wait & let things go by naturally.

a month ago.things were goin so well

so much

2007-03-21T00:20:00.000+08:00

so much for replying calls.so much for the words that are said.i feel a sense of bias-ness of how im being treated lately.but what can i do.for i am no one.theres nothing i can do about it.all i can do is complain bout it.feel frustrated bout it.but i have to accept it.geez.am i really that worthless??..........

rahima pixx

2007-03-18T02:38:00.000+08:00

jamming with rahima last 2 weeks ago...

the picture below is actually very nice.except for the fact that i look so retarded ;p

rahima

2007-03-09T01:10:00.000+08:00

wow.i cant beleive what happened today!!duxton plains actually jammed with Rahima Rahim!!!yes Rahima from Singapore Idol!!she sang for us!!shes gonna sing for us at our upcomin gig at Hau Yi Sec.haha.ITS SOOO FREAKIN KEWL!!Rahima leh!!wahlau!!hahaha.so cannot beleive it seh!!!Rahima Jammed with us!!!Lepak wit us!!go 7-11 wit us!!take train wit us!!walk wit us!!!hahaha.i was in presence of a celebrity!!!!weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.so kewl man!!!haha.cant wait to rock out with her!!oh & the best thing was she smsed me after she gt back.saying she had fun & loved jammin wit us.sayin we were gd.weeee.dats really awesome man.oh & boy she can sing.& screamo too!!!haha.cant wait to rock the stage with her soon!!weeeeee.will put up pixx.will DEFINATELY put up pixx of our jammin wit her & the gig too.weeeeeeeeee.haha

grreeaattt

2007-03-02T22:19:00.000+08:00

yeah.great.hmm.weird isnt it?wud it be weird if you went out with somebody, then he/she wud pick up calls or sms (that u actually dun mind) but when he/she goes out with somebody else he/she doesn't pick up yur calls/reply yur sms.i mean he/she wud say "Ya' know i hate calls & sms!!" but infact you see them checkin their hps (if not pickin up calls/replyin sms's) evrytime when their with you.so its like so evidential yet he/she is trying to deny it.wudnt you find dat weird?like is'nt that so In YOUR Face?hmm.i have no idea what im babbling about.but i definately know that im not pleased.not pleased at all after what has been said.what has been assured.

"weird how some things seem destined, yet uncertained"

2007-02-24T02:14:00.000+08:00

Wong Li Lin is so fffrreeeaaakkkiinnn hhhhhaaawwwttttt with a capitol H!!!!hahah.ive always had a crush on her since the Triple Nine days.then i saw her on tv.judgin the contestants on the dancefloor.she was wearin the grey business-like suit.& i din noticed but until she turned it was actually wide open.& she was wearing a tube inside!!!!!now how hot is that!!!i was like "shit!!dats freakin sexy sia!!!!!!!"hahah.a tube!!with jacket!!woohhoo!!!!her neck.haizz.i have a thing 4 girls showing their skin frm the neck till the upper part of their "chests" its so nice to look at.hehe.the bones.the smoothness.gosh.she is so fffiinnee!!sexy sia!!!hahahahahah.weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

beast wars

2007-02-21T05:56:00.000+08:00

wow.im still UP!!haha.ive been watchin episodes from Beast Wars:Transformers trhoughout the whole night.haha.man i feel like getting the dvd.so much to watch.so much relevance to the original G1 transformers.kewl.cant wait to watch the live action movie!!woohhoo!!

bein nice

2007-02-12T04:47:00.000+08:00

does one have to be "fierce" in order to be nice?i ponder at that sometimes.cuz sometimes being just nice isn't enough.you gotta like put pressure on it.re-inforce yur nice-ness.but then wudn't it mean yur not sincere?OR wud it mean that you're more sincere??hmm......

nothing more than a line in your book

2007-02-05T01:56:00.000+08:00

fffuuuccckkkk love!!fuuuccckkkkkk life!!fuck everyone in it.fuck you!!you!!and you!!yeah you!!fucker whose writting this stupid fucking blog!!why dont you just do yourself a favour & just go to hell fucker.yeah now i know what it means.
"Yet i'm nothing more, than a line in you're book" im just a speck of bacteria to you are'nt i??an illusion.a fiction.fragment of your imagination.

migrain

2007-02-02T13:35:00.000+08:00

wow.i still feel the aftermath of yesterdays migrain.feels like a hangover ater drinkin.heh.padahal padahal.yez i went to school.so much people there now.and alota new girls too.but ntah.i just didn't seem to be intrested.the rest of the guys were like "whoaaaa".."ish".."eh!!eh!!tengok tengok!!".."kiwak baik siol"....but ntah.i just cudnt be bothered.well.i skipped halfway tru DAVT class to go home & get my stuff for jammin.i tot there wud be food at home.but alas i was wrong.haha.so all i ate thoughout the whole entire day was 2 loafs of bread & plain water.went 4 jammin.haha.jerrell seemed so kanchong when playin the bass 4 us.haha.well.he's coverin for iman cuz man had to be confined.but apparently yesterday i got his msg that hes booking out today & goin back in on fri.bummer right?but nvm.were still gonna let jerrell play.it wudnt be very nice to pull jerrell out in the last min.i mean he did take the time to learn our originals.haha.he did oklah 4 the short time that he had.then we headed to the bugis rooftop to meet joanna.got the buttons.which came out really really well except for the blue one.the rest din like it so much. =( so sad.hahah.then we sat up there 4awhile.i smoked.yes.i din eat for the whole day & i smoked.that was the irritatin reason behind the irritatin migrain.haha.so todays entry is about my migrain.haha.k.cant wait 4 2mros gig at HOME club.woohooo.finally.a gig OUTSIDE gas haus.YEAY!!!!!

so fast

2007-02-01T03:59:00.000+08:00

so fast things go by.yet time seems like forever.goodbye january.finally.i felt that it was the longest january of my whole entire life.it was so long & draggy & painful.please.i hope feb will move on faster.& so on & so on.its true when they say that time moves really slow when your not enjoying it.when your not having fun.it really is true.haaiizz..i cant believe that its happening faster than i expected.i wud have never thought that days like this wud have come.when i loose my soul.when i loose my will.when i loose my trust to others.when i loose my love.when you thought you had someone who can share the whole world with you.but then things change.doors that were opened are now closing.doors that were so hard to open.so long it took.so much effort.slowly it closes.but surely.which sucks.fucking sucks i tell ya!!i think im begining to go back to my ol roots.im startin to loose hope....hope that led me to beleive in faith.oh how hard it was for me to gain faith in him i pray that i will not loose it again.

new oc season

2007-01-31T01:00:00.000+08:00

channel 5 is airing the new season of oc.actually it was airing it quite some time ago.& i thinks its the last episode today.all graduated & shit & stuff.heh.well last few episodes saw the return (or the short return) of ANNA STERN!!heheh.yes.Samaire Armstrong is back!!well..was..actually.hehe.although she has long hari now..like this

hahaha.no more short hair...like this...

hahaha.but nvm.still i love her so..hahaha.

awww.look.she's lookin at me oh so sweetly.hahahaha.get a life zan!!!!!!hehe

k.enuff of my fantasy.lets get back to my REAL life.eh.wait.i dun have one.i need to get one....

oh how it feels like to be rejected & disappointed.i gez im slow in moving on.god i hope march wud be better for me.i can see feb already sucking like hell for me.forget valentines.yep.i know what i wrote in my earlier entry.but sometimes.things do get canceled.people do cancel off other people you know.its normal.so why dread over it right?yeah....right...

haggen daz

2007-01-29T03:42:00.000+08:00

yesterday.or shud i say on sat was such a hectic day.mentally actually.there were alot of people and that made it worse.i was supposed to go get the tixx 4 the match between singapore & m'sia.but apparently the very rude sales-counter person at the toa payoh stadium was very not helpful at all.so i tot id go to jalan besar stadium.gosh how i rgereted it.y?cuz i dint noe where it was.& where to alight frm the bus.in the end i got lost.so i had to stop sumwhere in the middle of nowhere.& then it rained.it just rained heavily!!wtf ryte??!!then i had to walk a very long distance to cross the bridge JUST TO GET TO THE BUSTOP OPPOSITE!!wat the hell.apparently for such a small road.with 2 lanes each.it seemed like the road was spitting out cars endlessly.& i mean EEEENNDDLLEESSLLLYYYY...sheesh..at least when i crossed over there was a bus that went straight to bugis.so i cud go 4 jammin.second combat & the geeks were actually playin on that day.it was so tempting to watch.but i know my priorities.i had to prove to myself that she's my top priority.not that i didn't know that already.but i just had to prove to myself again.after my jam we met.she looked so good.even with her new gold earings (which i dun wanna admit it kinda looks nice.hahahaha) i was kinda irritatin.i kept apolagizing for the sucky day.boy what a dumbass i am.we went to eat at tong seng.then we din noe where to go after that.& i guess its just me to feel so very apolagetic.so she suggested we go eat ice cream at Haggen Daz.her treat.again i felt so bad cuz she had benn treatin me for this couple of days.nvm.ill get back my revenge on valentines day.hehehee.yeah.she asked me out for valentines.not me leh.she.heheheh.proud hor?of course lah!!girl ask boy leh.not the other way round.haha.we wanted to sit at the big red couch but it was like fully booked.so we reserved the seats untill it was available.so while waiting we walked around raffles city mall.julz & her marks & spencer.tak habez2.hahaha.i dun wanna admit shez gettin more beatiful as shez becumin more "girly".hahaha.although i preffered her "heck-care" attitude.its nice to see her maturing beautifully.just like a butterfly.sent her home after our "dessert-supper" being able to feel her warm embrace in the bus was nice.even if it was for a short while.

cam whoring sikit ah babe!!haha

pretty pretty ice-cream..very very pretty pretty girl

my ice-cream looks like something familliar....yes.gross i am.i know.haha

beautifull aint she....haiz..action lor she got new gold earings.haha

amirul sick

2007-01-23T14:15:00.000+08:00

im home from school.yes i did go school today.i guess i JUST learnt my lesson.its obvious we've known each other for sooo long that we can't lie to each other.heh.well this morning si julia asked me to teman her send amirul to KK hospital.he was havin a fever but he got so hot during the wee hours of the morning.it was like at 1am or 2.poor kid.he was shivering.coughing & loads of yellowed muckus dripped from his nose.i cant wait when that happens to me.no.not the yellowed muckus part.haha.i mean when i have a son & that i have to send him to the hospital in the morning.i remember my dad doing that when i was younger.i wanna give the love & affection to my son just like how my dad gave me.anw if not for his high fever i think we wud have been there longer.but we got off at 4.heh.it was so last minute that i wore a cap goin to the hospital.yes folks.a cap at 2am in the morning.haha.but id rather the hot nurses look at me wearin a cap, then my "UN-TAMED BELWITHERED" hair.haha.oh & YES there WERE hot nurses.soo faaaa-eeeee-yyy-aaaaa-nnnnn (fine) haha.anw the importnant thing is that im glad amirul is doin better............
oh & that there are hot nurses workin at the childrens emergency ward at kk.hehehe

confused

2007-01-22T02:35:00.000+08:00

im sooooo confused.it hurts so much.sssooooooo ssoooooo much.i tot i had a good weekend.a better one.but.things fall apart.things don't seem what they appear sometimes.i really.reaally cant stop crying.sure.im ok wen im wit my frenz.but i cant.when im home.when im in the bus alone.thinking about her.thinkin about the 4yrs of knowing her.& 3 yrs of being together.it hurts.really deep.call me fuckin emo lah.but i really cant control my tear glands (if theres even such a thing) im tired.but restless.its like im soooooo tired & exhausted but i cant rest my body & mind.i cant accept it.i wont.but i have too.but i dont want to.arrrghh.im startin to tear up again.is this relationship not worth it?am i not worth it?i guess this life is not worth it.i guess my life is not worth it.

cant sleep

2007-01-19T06:04:00.000+08:00

its like 6 AM in the morning & im still up.....was up from just now....cant sleep....haaiizz...i really really cant sleep seh....ive never been like this before...........................................

usah lepaskan

2007-01-19T01:31:00.000+08:00

Usah Lepaskan – Taufik Batisah

Yang terindah
Terlukis di bibir mu
Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu
Sebegitu
Pudar kah sudah cinta yang ku beri
Berwarna warni segala
Yang dijanjikan ia

Usah biarku bersendirian
Usah biar hati mu di tawan
Usah biar diri ku di sini
Seorang menunggu tanpa teman

Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu
Usah biar semua berlalu
Usah terlupa perasaan hati
Pertama kali kita bertemu

Usah lepaskan

Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu
Ku ingin selalu bersama mu

Usah biarku bersendirian
Usah biar hati mu di tawan
Usah biar diri ku di sini
Seorang menunggu tanpa teman

Usah lepas genggaman tangan mu
Usah biar semua berlalu
Usah terlupa perasaan hati
Pertama kali kita bertemu

Usah lepaskan

Ku tak peduli apa sebabnya
Engkau dan dia harus bersama
Mendungnya langit bila berkata
Kita patutnya masih bercinta
Usah lepaskan

Usah lepaskan
Usah lepaskan

Yang terindah
Terlukis di bibir mu
Tak pernah ku lihat senyum mu
Sebegitu

why................why...................................... im not angry.but i am emotionialy sad & depressed.....

miserable

2007-01-18T16:24:00.000+08:00

aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhh.i feel so miserable.so restless.so soul-less.heck im even typing with one hand ryte now.ive been so low lately.havn't been sleeping well.& because of that ive been missing school ALOT!!i didn't even go to school today & i had a test.wahlau!!aiyah.i dun even know wat to type already.no mood for anything sia.its like i lost my soul.literally.you know like when the creatures frm harry potter the "domentors" izzit?when they suck the life out of you?something like that lah.or whateva la.takde mood lah...k nvm later meet aidil & su.smoke like hell later.

Your Guardian Angel

2007-01-17T01:06:00.000+08:00

"The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Your Guardian Angel"

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

ol skool seh.one of the pictures we took together for the very first time =)

music attack

2007-01-15T04:33:00.000+08:00

i cant say this has been the MOST happiest day of my life.but its 3/4 there.hahaha.i gez some things need some time.but i can safely say im much more "happy-er" then i have been over the past few days.lifes not that bad after all i gez.haha.hmmm.hopefully i didn't speak too soon though.ill leave things in Gods hands.i really miss her.i miss her when she's not with me even for a second.i really do.

stupid me

2007-01-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

stupid me.how could i think of such a thing.why would i think that she would still want to keep a savings with me??.i feel so god damn embarrased.what the hell sia zan.whats wrong with you man.great.because of that i had to put down the phone.it was so nice talking to her but i just couldnt stop crying after what she said.i cant stop.i just cant...

alone in the rain

2007-01-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

i just got home from going out alone.yes alone.now how long has it been since the last time i went out alone?sheesh.pretty long ago.well the motive of me going out today was to give roy the money for the gig tixx.su was there.but he went for jamming after i gave roy the cash.i told him i was going home.didn't wana seem like some emo kid if i told him i was going to singapore river alone.i took the train.so many times my eyes teared up.i was ready to cry.but i kept on holding back.thats the toughest thing.trying to hold back your tears.i mean rather then peopl looking at you cry in the train.but i cant say tears didn't run down my cheeks.as i reached singapore river nobody was there.as it was still drizzling.tot of sitting where we usually sit but it was still very wet.so i decided to sit under the cover of uob.as i sat there i looked over to my right.behind the pillar.where we used to sit.hangout & sometimes make out.haha.those were fun times.i looked at the beautiful scenery.which i wouldnt have known if not for her.it was nice.the cool breeze.the wet floor shimmering the lights from the lamp posts.the river sparkling like crystals bouncing off the lights from the shop houses.its was almost perfect.it would have been if she was there.i sat there.sms-ing her.listenin to my music.listening to these few tracks only, to be exact.thinking of the past.thinking of her.again trying & trying to hold back all the tears that came.so many times i cried.sitting there alone.watching.remembering.but time came by faster then usual.it was 10:17 so i tot id make a move.but then it started to rain again.luckily i had my cap on.the one she would always wash for me.so i walked in the rain.as i passed by i looked across the river.to the place where we sat & where i first asked her to be mine.it was closed.under renovation.i gez that place reflects us.its in change.so are we.saw a old couple crossing the cavenaugh bridge.he held her tight around his arms while sheltering her with an umbrella.i immediately smiled.wishing that wud be us one day.then as i walked by fullerton hotel.dreams of us being there pass by me.photos that we took there.the photo of her by the fountain.looking at people dinning there.my hands reached out.touching the walls of the fullerton imagining it was her as i walked by.the rain made it smooth.like her skin.i cried even more.i got to the traffic junction.i turned and gazed into the lights of the beautiful building.telling myself how much i miss you.how much i miss her.then i looked into the lights of the cars.they were so bright.then i noticed how bright the lights of fullerton were.its amazing how the lights look like when its raining.you can really see it glow.so brightly.even in the darkest night you wouldnt see it this bright.the rain was wonderful.walking in it i noticed i was the only one walking in the rain without an umbrella.as i watched couples share an umbrella, hugging each other keeping each other warm & cosy.i wish i had that.i wished i was with her.the walk on the bridge seemed neverending.but i was distracted by the beautiful lights that the esplanade & the river was emitting.even the construction sites gave out a lovely glow.i walked all the way to the bus stop behind esplanade where i took 56.while i was walkin inside espl i noticed this is the first time i didn't bother about my surroundings.ive always took out my right earpiece while walking to be more aware & cautious of my surroundings.but this time i had both on throughout the entire day that i was by myself.amazing.i liked it.walking home,well walking today i felt like a zombie.so resltless.so..emotionless.like im dragging myself.endlessly.ive never been this sad before.i guess cuz ive never been dumped before.& ive never cried this much before.i guess cuz ive never lost someone i love this much before....

gone.all gone

2007-01-12T02:52:00.000+08:00

ive lost it.first i lost my bandmates.then money.then i lost my time..and now.the most valuable & most precious thing.ive lost her..lost it.all gone.ive lost my soul.my will.my desire.ive lost all meaning.i really don't know what i'll do.all i know is that i will wait for her.that i will love her just like i do, just like i did 3yrs ago, just like when i first saw her.oh.the first time.ill never forget the first time i saw her as she slowly strolled across the schools walkway towards the inet.giving off the most beautifull auro in slow motion.gosh what a dreamer.catching her in a hearbeat in slow motion.ill never be the same.ive lost a huge HUGE part of me.ive lost myself.to all guys out there.never make the one you love the most independant.never make her be able to stand on her own two feet.make her want you.all the time.make her NEED you.cuz once she's able to live on her own.thats when you're dispensable.i was born into this world when you came into my life.but now.as you leave it, i've died..

I Love You Nur Juliana Johari

George Micheal - Kissing a Fool

"You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that you were strong enough,
To even make a start,
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart,

People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do jus twhat they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart from you,
People,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,
We should have seen love through,

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes,
Covered me with kisses and lies,
So goodbye,
But please don't take my heart,

You are far,
I'm never gonna be your star,
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart,
Maybe I'll be strong enough,
I don't know where to start,
But I'll never find
Peace of mind,
While I listen to my heart,

People,
You can never change the way they feel,
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will,
If you let them,
Steal your heart,

And people,
Will always make a lover feel a fool,
But you knew I loved you,
We could have shown them all,

But remember this,
Every other kiss,
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man,
One you really can surrender with,
I will wait for you,
Like I always do,
There's something there,
That can't compare with any other,

You are far,
When I could have been your star,
You listened to people,
Who scared you to death, and from my heart,
Strange that I was wrong enough,
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool,
You must have been kissing a fool"

thank you for the best three years of my life

I Love You

bored

2007-01-06T17:18:00.000+08:00

immmmm...boooorrrreeeeedddddd..............................

thailand incomplete

2006-12-30T03:11:00.000+08:00

shit man.the tour was freakin awesome sia.the thailand and malaysia scene is so freakin awesome.theyre so superly supportive of thier own bands & even more towards foreign bands.shit man.it was the bomb playin there.such an honour.it feels great to have ppl enjoying yur music.with no mockerz.no sissy panties makin fun of other ppl.their so united there.freakin love the scene there.if only the singapore scene had their kind of mentality.i gez our scene is too "matured".ppl here think they know it all & shit.whats kewl & watz not.well gez wat??f*&k no.man.i wud love to play there again.gosh i miss the italian boys already.hahaha.they & their stupid horny jokes & shit.will post up picts of the tour pretty soon.I LOVE THAILAND & MALAYSIA!!!!kap koon kap & terima kasih

thailand

2006-12-18T02:25:00.000+08:00

MSN-ing in Thailand Bebeh!!!

shaky

2006-11-26T02:51:00.000+08:00

been a while since ive updated.so i tot id put this up.nothing too mellow dramatic (whatever dat means.)

damn.im having problems with the color ouput.cant publish it correctly.f#*k

very bad morning

2006-10-21T06:06:00.000+08:00

i know its been very long since ive last updated my blog but i feel like right now i have no one to turn to.i mean i dun wanna burden anyone else wit my problems.i gez thats how i live and lived my life.i dun tell things to ppl.i dun share things.i dun bother to talk about my likes,my dislikes my views or anything in my life unless their brought up.i gez that’s just me.i gez I never had anyone close 2 share it with.anyone dat I cud trust.relate to.but I just felt like I needed to write.i always write with analogies but for now I feel like writing upfront.i had a fight with julz.a big one.one where I was filled with emotion,sadness,enomosity,confusion,depression,anger,heartbreak.i was so filled with emotion it was the first time since so long that I actually prayed to god to calm me down.aku baca doa selawat.never have I baca selawat in my life due to the emotion I was feeling.but I tot it wud calm me down.n apparently it did not.i gez that’s y I have little faith in god ever since I was a kid.or maybe it cud be of my own doing over the years of not having complete faith in him.i mean I do believe in him.i do believe in god.i respect and fear him.but what little faith I have in him.no offence to the people out there but that’s what has been with me since I was 7?8?or so.i dun know what to say.to feel.like a million ton of weights placed atop my shoulder.i just cannot understand y juli cannot appreciate fully what I have done for her.i cannot understand y she cannot remember the things I DID for her and wud so willingly DO for her again.y she wud put me off so wrongly if I did sumthing wrong or I didn’t do sumthing she wud expect me to do.is it becuz she takes it for granted?takes me always being there for her for granted and when I dun she decides to blame me for it?have I been there for her way too much that she expects for me to be there for her always.i mean dun get me wrong.I do WANT to be there for her all the time but alas we are all human and just like what aidil said to her a few years back that struck a chord, that I wunt be there for her always.that she cannot expect me to be there all the time.she understood that then.so y not now?or izit becuz she has always gotten what she wanted.n when she doznt she throws a hell of a tantrum n makes bloody sure ppl around her know shes pissed and gets a taste of her anger.im not putting all of the blame to juli as I know I am not a perfect bf.ive had my lower days.even my lowest.i know I haven’t been the best bf.but I try.i give her the space that she said she needs if she were to be in a relationship.we discussed that.and izit so wrong for me to put the pictures of us that I like in MY own friendster.is it not MY friendster?izit not MY taste.just like ppl who have diff taste in arts.the pictures that juli seems to like n I seem to like are diff.n no.itz not bcuz I looke more better looking then juli.itz plain simple English.I!!LIKE THE PICTURE!!for MY friendster.and to say I dun even speak a word of her or about her when im with my friends.how I wish I was s elf-righteous egoistical freak that wud shamelessly say “YES!!I do speak of you when I am with my friends”.how I wish I cud tell my friends to tell juli how much I love her n am proud of her.of how much I wud protect her if anyone to wud even dare say sumting bad about her.if only I had an ego the size of Jupiter.i wish she wud believe me.REALLY believe me at FIRST say.to believe me when I tell her something like she’s beautiful or when I want to do something for her instead of her thinking that im doing it cuz im her bf or cuz she said it first or cuz it seems like the right thing to do.i just want her to remember.think about what ive did for her.n think.just think y I wudnt do it for her again.just appreciate it.appreciate me.whole-heartedly.but again.im not saying im perfect.ive done my share of wrong doings.i know sumtimez Im not automatic or I dun do things normal bfs or a stereotypical person wud do.or sumtimez I dun give her a hundred percent attention that she wants but hell.i just wished she would really really look at the big picture

ps. If you happen to read this and get angry or offended.im sorry but it comes out true from my heart

italy won

2006-07-10T14:59:00.000+08:00

italy won the world cup.was quite expecting that.both julz n i were kinda rooting for both italy n france.hahah.we were confused on whom to support but i think we were leaning a tad more to france.we went to chijmes after work to watch the game.man it was uber packed even before 12.haha.its so embarassing that we kept going up & down the place in search of an empty seat.we actually wanted to go sit at the irish pub.but one last seat was taken just before we wanted to "chop" the place.i was so restless to find a place i dint care if we had to sit in a pub with a cover charge.but luckily julz din give up.we went up & found that the sake bar had "vacancies".hehe.i bought myself $25 worth of sprite!!hahaha.julz had coke.n we bought chips n ate the "ferarer rochez" (i dun freaking care bout the spelling.heheh) that i bought for julz earlier at work.alot of the spectators were supporting italy.hahaha.n there we were, quitely rooting n cheering for france n not to forget a little for italy.hahaha.but as the penalty kickout favoured to italy we screamed n cheered for them!!hahaha.it was hilarious.padahal padahal.hahaha.hope no one there noticed.hahaha.but it was a good game.n a far greater experience, especially it being with julz.we saved alota money as kak juanna picked us up in abang faerozes (julz sisters boyfriend) car.free ride.hehehe.its true that the world cup does bring people closer to each other.L.E.H.

wat happens when...

2006-07-09T12:58:00.000+08:00

im trying to start a new life now.finally finished my attachment.both hafiz & i feel so free.like a load of giant rocks.....from jurong island.has been carried off our shoulders.wat a relief.less then a yr more to graduate then im off to being the dogs of the government aka NS.heh.today i start back work at mango.oh how i miss working in the comfort of air-conditioned surroundings.& not to forget the short wee hours too.heh.ive been kinda emotional lately.been asking myself alot of questions.wat will you do when youve lost your touch?when you know you cant help.yet you try.but you fail.then you try to be strong but you succumb to the inevitable & just self-destruct without even noticing it.it sucks that you know theres nothing you can do except listen.oh how i wish i was given the brain of a genius & encounter any problems & solve it with such ease.it would definately lighten ones load & set a spark for that person to ponder on.how i wish i was that person.but i am not.not to be vain but i was given a better ear then a mouth or brain.i was proud to say i was once that statue that ppl would have the comfort to come too.but now ppl seek for the talking mirror as the statue is left behind to its old past.i guess the worlds not as it used to be.yeah.like skins snake.everyday as the world spins it sheds its layers to make room for new skin.& thats what im ready for now.well...at least thats what i hope for.theres so much more i wanna say but i just dont know how to put it in words.i wish i could define myself much better but i cant.or at least its very hard too.

long time no update

2006-06-20T13:32:00.000+08:00

man its been a long time since ive updated.busy playing games n shit at home.haha.well im in school now.hmm.i feel dat i should change my layout.kinda bored with it.looks like ill be window shopping for a new layout now.gosh its been so long that i dun even know what to write.where to start.so much has happened yes so little time.

new pc!!

2006-06-02T23:31:00.000+08:00

iiiiiimmmmmmm bbbbaaaaacccccckkkk
heheheh.ive got a new pc bebeh!!WINDOWS PC!!!yeah!!no more mac fer me.heheh.yeay!!it so rocks.hehe.will be back agian to update soon.cya buddy ol blog

CreativeCentre

2006-03-30T20:25:00.000+08:00

new stuff

100000 missed calls

2006-03-16T22:30:00.000+08:00

i wonder.what the hell is a use of a cell phone if a person is unreachable through sms & calls.even after an hour of pressing the call button,putting it down b4 the lady in the phone asks 4 a voicemail,pressing the call button again,putting down b4 the voicemail,caaaallliinnngggg again,puuuutttttttiiiiinnnnng down aaagggaaaiiinnn.doing that restlessly for a whole hour.yep.a whole hour of just doing that.call.end.call.end.call.end.paranoia?nope.honest to god truth.hoping the other end would pick up.wondering where that person is.worried sick as hell like never b4 when that person is having a joyous fun time laughing away like theres no tommorrow & when there are ppl out there who just....care.no.i think that word is under-achieved.it doesn't do justice to what the person is feeling.but what the hell ryte.it sure was fun getting all mad & shit.cell phones & all means of communication should be extinct like the dinosaurs.itll save the environment more.insanity is the werd of the day kids.brought to you by the number 100000000000000000000000000000000
& the letters F.U.C & K!!!!!!goodbye

repent

2006-02-24T01:24:00.000+08:00

i gez ill neva sum up to anyone.ill neva live up to even standard expectations.i can go as high as a mountain.but ill always be at the bottom.id give anything to repent myself.but i gez im just afraid that even after death i would never be forgiven.let live or let die.ill burn myslef with fire tonight.hopefully a time will come, that will clear the ashes of reminisces.

tonsillitis

2006-02-22T20:13:00.000+08:00

ive been at home since tuesday.sat was the gig.it sucked except for the last song.we tore the walls down with memphis will be laid to waste.joanna cried cuz she din press the rec button on the vidcam.no biggie actually.poor girl.monday was the isetan dinner and dance.it was kewl.although i did think the hospitality crew at suntec could have been more nicer.& i didnt know that isetan has quite a few hot girls.hahaha.julz was so keeping an eye at me when i was checking out the girls from scotts.haha.the MC was good.very funny but he spoke alota chinese which was kinda irritating at a certain point.there was alcohol & to be honest it was very tempting.free flow lagi siak.but i held myself back & im kinda proud of myself 4 dat.the concert ended at 11 or so.then it was dancing all the way till god knows what time.haha & the weirdest thing was that julz was dancing.yep.she was dancing & gosh she looked so freaking hot sial.haha.kak yaya looked like she was having fun.pei chin so totally rocks the dance floor.shes one hell of a good dancer.i just sat there with aden & i was totally freaked out when joanne was trying to persuade me to dance & she was like gonna grind me.i could so feel my face turning pink.in the end i thought what the hell.it be a waste not to since its not a very normal occasion.& I GOT TO GRIND JULZ!!!!hahaha.front & back.side to side.haha.dat was so sexy.it was so turning me on.haha.like whatever zan.we went off at 1.sent julz home.lepaked with her till 230am.then didnt go school the next day.malas ah.haha.& today im sick.just great.doc says i got the minor case of Tonsillitis.if i have anymore of this id have to have them remove.man that will be very costly.i hope it wont go to that serious.but 2 days MC.yeay!!hhaaha.

3rd gig

2006-02-09T22:29:00.000+08:00

im bored.i feel hot.dehydrated.grammy is on.had quite a long weekend.ate at bedemer in the middle of the night with aidil,ana,aden & julz.fun.heh.3 A's, a J & a Z.k.lame.didnt know isetan had so much politics.finaly had the valentines banner up.like it very much.got stepped over the head just now at skool.well i actualy do evryday.but settled it.pay not in for this month.whichh totaly sucks.i dun know y im talking in short sentences.so robotic.tommorrow first guitar lesson.sat jammin wit both bands.jerrell gonna session for JDV.lking foward to dat.peace no war.

discordant project2 coming.not prepared.wat the hell.

new year jan

2006-02-02T23:38:00.000+08:00

( i had no idea what my first werds were going to be.to be honest ;p )
chinese new year just drifted by.wat a nice break frm it all.skool.werk.gonna suffer for the next 2 months or so.no break no hols no nothing then exam.damn it.yet im still slacking my ass off at skool.wat a shocker.hmm.let me see wat i did this month..ponder..ponder..
went cycling with julz for the first time at east coast.it was nice.i do know how to ride the bike ok!! contrary to what others might say.bluerk!!but i did fall & as what julz say i must admit macam "nangka busuk".hehe.but fun it was indeed.hmmm.what else..ponder..ponder..
oh melanie murder had a sucky performane at ngee ann.gary quit due to sum shit but i knew it was gonna happen.just din expect it wud be this quick.weve gt hafiz frm a vacant affair to session for us.bloody good & funny lad.just got back from watching fun with DICK & jane with julz.hilarious indeed.of course its always never a dull movie with jim carrey in it.oh & of all of the people in the world i had to bump to just now at ps.shamila.yes.shamila.the girl i was once soo goo goo ga ga over when i was also dating julz before we were in a relationship.yep the hot bishan nurse that i got to know from hazri (whom i used to be so close with.but i gez things move on).yep.the girl that kissed me on the lips on our very first date.man she used to look so hot but so the minah now.dat girl had major issues.she shud go & see a shrink bout it.heh.not to sound rude but i like my girls sane.not that julz is.hehe.shes one hell of a joker & weirdo &...ntahlah.can describe her in so many funky ways.haha.had so much fun with her just now.she got my tickle bones all kerazy & shit.well im gonna watch american dad & father of the pride after this.gonna have my first guitar lesson at skool 2mro.then gonna help P&C with the valentines banner tommorrow (oh yah i got into my skools student council.kental kan??!!) then jamming at one of the new studios that the no direction guitarists just opened.update ya latr.picts up.peace

so?i dun do well in pressure okey.& the lady at the back seems like shes ready to hurl

"akibat nangka busuk yang sudah jatuh"

new year pt2

2006-01-07T01:32:00.000+08:00

oh.& julz looks
`se-mackingly` `adora-bely ca-ute`
drinking teh tarik =)

new year

2006-01-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

yah!!its the new year.haha.long since ive updated.kinda busy.had fun on new yrs eve.went to espla with the gang to watch the amazing fireworks that was accompanied with kewl orchestratic-techno-like songs.haha.but its was rad.juls went home as ana,aidil,winz & i ton (if dats how u spell that freakin werd) haha.ton indeed we did (sarcasticly) by 4 we were asleep near the tourist centre at the merlion.we got off frm there at 630.i felt like it was more of a skool camp.haha.weird.juz got fall out boys' from under the cork tree album.nice.went to jam for the first time at velvet joint with MM.its a kewl place to chill.very homy feeling.but the guitar & especially the cymbols for the drums suck like my screaming.ive yet to fully recover frm my undying cough & the gig is next week.bummer.then went to jln kayu ALSO for the very first time with julz.so sweet of her to bring me there.we ate at this place called Cafeela.the food was very nice.next time were gonna try the famous ice cream prata at the shop next to it.after hearing all the hype bout that place i finally had a taste of it.tanxx sweetie.even though we fought so many time just now.im really sorry.i love her like when the word love was first said.

spoiled

2006-01-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

FFFFFFUUUUUUCCCKKKKKK!!!!
Y MUST FUCKING THINGS HAPPEN TO ME.Y MUST IT BE THAT EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS SUMTING WORSE COMES ALONG & SHATTERS MY LIFE INTO OBLIVION.
FUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! KILL ME PLS.KILL ME NOW!!!!!!!!

christmas

2005-12-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

juz got back home frm christmas outing with julz.she looked so hot in the mango dress i bought 4 her.i wish i cud tear it off her.heh.i got myself the new thrice cd 'vheissu'.very kewl.very thrice.very mellow.orchard was very packed just now.we ate at the Hot Halal Restaurant at esplanade.the food there is ok i gez but like swensens it doznt have alota variety.the waitress was very nice though..hehe.plus she has short hair.haha.she 4got to take one of our orders & she was so very apolagetic bout it.they shud have given it to us on the house.& there was this one time julz wanted to drink but instead of her cup she picked up the bottle of chilli which was very humorous.VERY.haha.imagine if she din noticed it & were to drink the chilli?hahaha.datll be soooooo funny.haha.anw the sandwich was humongous.its more like a burger sia.haha.julz got me a topman shirt that has cuffs with cufflings.how rad is that.my very first cuffed shirt.& she also got me the blink 182 greatest hits cd deluxe edition with dvd.sick.my most fav band in the world.& toy cars that we both got together at toys 'r' us so we can exchange.cute aint it.& all i gt her was a stupid buuterfly ring from guess that she wanted & perlinis earings & necklace.all heart shapped.well i just hope that out of the 4 presents i gt her she would at least like one of them.we went back to orchard after dinner cuz esplanade was kinda boring.it had no sense of festive joy.orchard was very happening with people going around spraying "snow in a can" at everyone who was carrying those cans.julz & i got "hit" by some of the snow.it was very smelly & it made my nose itch but it was so fun to see ppl having fun.i wanna do that at next years christams.mesti gerek kalau ramai2.but it is still a bomb going out with julz.i had fun.juz hope she did.yeay.1 week vacation in liao.hurray hurray.

missing these guys =(

mango sale

2005-12-18T11:22:00.000+08:00

wooh what an exhausting week it has been.had the mango sale recently.my feet still aches from all the walking for 12 hours a day.but i actually prefer the sale cuz we dun have to tend to the needs oof the customer.juz tell them all the stocks are out.hehe.lstening to i hear you calling by gob ryte now.oh & i went out with aidil & julz yez.ana met us very late.they went to mustafa center & we went back.it was already 11.if only i had my own transport.freedom to go home anytime.

hadnt been updating lately.very tired lah.but last saturday julz & i went to celebrate our 2 yr annniversary.she brought me to the straits kitchen at hyatt hotel.it was so kewl.& expensive too.the buffet costs 40 smackerooz per person.but it was well worth it.then went window shopping at orchard & marina square.it so new & big now.poor julz her feet were aching frm wearing the high heels.haha & we bought 3 boxes of plaster that kpet slipping off bcuz of her sweaty feet.eeeee.so gross.hahahaha.shed kill me if she knew.haha.nahz.i dun care or mind.id still lick her feet..slurpp..yum yum.hhaha.& then she brought me for the singapore river taxi boat ride.that was so kewl.we stood up at the front & tthe coffee bean by the river.had spaghetti & lotsa cake WHICH julz said tasted basi & din finish when in fact she wanted it all.hahaha.cute.& sat at the place where i first asked her to be mine till 2am.she looked so darn hot & gorgeous in her dress.haaiiiizzzzz..my heart melted like m&ms in your mouth.i really cant explain how i feel when i look at her.she din notice but i cudnt help but stare at her when we were waiting for the bus to go to marina at somerset.it gives my heart a feeling of content,relaxation & a sigh of relief that ive met the one.

gig rocked

2005-12-08T21:26:00.000+08:00

wohoo.the gig yez was far better then i or we all expected.the place was kinda small but the ambience was way kewl.our set was rocking man.din care bout everyone.juz went up & wrecked havoc.the chaos level was over the notch when we played our first song 'undefined'.eventhough we jammed that song for like only 4 or 5 times.it was wicked to see the audience sing along when we covered lip gloss.that so totally fuelled up my adrenalin even more & the best part was seeing ppl MOSH!!!YES MOSH!!! during our set.wohooo.wat an accomplishment.haha.& too think we actually were very & i mean VERY negative about the gig.but it turned out so well.cant wait 4 the picts & video.my body still aches from all the jumping & head banging but well worth the strain.it was close to super great if gary din screw up wen we played 'the begining' but heck even i 4got lyrics.haha.hopefully no one noticed.it was a blast.so happy julz cud make it & watch.so flattered that she told me she was proud of me.yeah man.yeah!! -lets set our hearts at self-destruct!!

no skool 4 2 days!!!

2005-12-06T15:38:00.001+08:00

weeeeeeee.din go skool for a max of 2 days.hahaha.mc on the rage.haha.had a "virul infection".which is a kewler way to say i had the sniffles.haha.the (medicated) drugs are werkin good except the "virus" did kinda came back for a second wave attack this morning.im not so stoked bout tommorrows gig at IJ.we only jammed once & 2mro were jamming b4 the gig.gez ill be skipping IWAD lessons 2mro.hopefully not much ppl turn up since its a weekday & theres another gig going on at the substation.goooooooooo melanie murder.

oh & its our very first gig with our band name on a flyer.how sickness is that.

2nd yr anni

2005-12-02T20:26:00.000+08:00

woohoo.im so stoked for next sat.it was our 2nd yr anniversary yez but were officially gonna celebrate it next sat.yep its been 2yrs of layaning each others crappyness & tears.i also noticed my blog is a yr old too.kewl.this is our very first & i say again very first 2nd yr anni.i wudnt be here if it werent for her.i hearts you my muackenz.

ill be looking foward to more years with you baby.my rain & sunshine

teen angst

2005-11-24T00:43:00.000+08:00

am i a phsyco?is it wrong to talk to yourself.is it wrong to pull out your own hair everyday?is it wrong that the only way to relieve yourself is by hurting yourself?is it wrong to beat your own head?is it wrong to hold back anger & depression?& use it on yourself?i gez i dun wanna be like my mom.im already a ticking time bomb that has its occasional blow ups.i dun want to end up like her & have the big bang.i dun wanna suffer from high blood pressure & have to eat pills.but its hard.i have a problem.& i know that.but its hard to control it when everyday ppl look down on you.take advantage of you.doesn't let you "in".expect certain things that ppl wont do for you juz because your willing to do it for them.it hurts.i gez we cant expect to be treated the same as we treat others in life.i remember once i needed coins to go to a public toilet.so i asked my mom for coins & she told me to take it out from her wallet.i specifically remember giving it back to her.& she lost her wallet when we got back home.i could say that she would wanna disown me.In fact it was under her bed when she dropped her bag.i was so angry at her for blaming me & scolding me.but at the same time i felt bad that all her money,cards,ic,contacts & stuff was gonna be gone forever.but i knew i din do anything wrong.but still i had hell to pay for something i did not committ.& she din even say sorry.how pathetic can a guy be huh?well i gez you havent met me.

skool re-opens

2005-11-21T04:28:00.000+08:00

damn.skool re-opens again later.saw my time table on the net.very good.i like.on friday i only have an hour & a half of lesson.hahaha.& i only end at 6 on thurs.the rest 4 ke 5.well im stil up.juz finished watchin VH1 BIG ON 04.before that channel 5 aired micheal jacksons moonwalker.hahaha.how ol skool is that.hmm.what a way to prepare 4 the first day of skool.with no slp at all!!hahahaha.ooh.scare tactics now.sick.on my way to more tv now.haha.SKOOL SUXX!!!!

depression

2005-11-17T01:45:00.000+08:00

depressed?feel like crying all the time?thoughts of suicidal tendencies?lethargic?need help?
yes please.i need hope.i need faith.in the movie daredevil, the priest told matt murdoc that a man without fear has no faith.i wish i could go in that tv set & pull him by his white collared suit & scream in his face "THATS SO FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU WHITE HAIRED PIECE OF NONSENSICLE LARD!!!" & continue eating my chips.i have fear.fucking loads of it.do i have faith?no.hope?dun bother asking.i have fears.but why dont i feel as lithe as a birds bone.or even a boner.......do birds have a boner??wait a minute.what am i tallking about.of course they do.then how the hell do the guy birds get it on with the girly birds & have eggs for us to eat?ryte?yeah.ryte.
whats the point?im in your room.is this turning you on?am i turning you on?
oops.rantings of lyrics from taking back sundays' great romance of the 20th century there.

i cant help myself.who will?
its always mothers teaching.look out for yourself
im a liar.telling myself half as much as lies
i tell mom & dad
im sorry.for a second.i take that back
so for a moment ill see that look on your face
that look on your face
ill never be a leader.& ill never be a follower
but ill follow you if you ask me to
im no martyr.im no scientist or even a phsyciatrist
dun make me comprehend
dun make me set stepping stones on your pathway
the way my decisions were made
is the way id like yours to be
its not worth sharpening that old rusty knife
gentle flowers are not meant
but ill never live up to you
expectations i never lived in
difference sets us apart from everyone else
just like you.and me.and them
you.me.them.

i dont know what the fuck that is i juz wrote.but what the hell.its my rantings.its me.
bang!bang!bang!

photos

2005-11-14T23:37:00.000+08:00

im very much in love & im not ashame to show or say it thank you =)

sky high

im on top of the world with my angel

she would do anything for me.i know

look at those to die for dimples & luscious lips

i swear she belongs with the looney toons.lol

content

perfect

id love her to arrest me in handcuffs.PLEASE.lol

ok.maybe she's the mother of looney toons.hahaha

frequency

2005-11-13T01:48:00.000+08:00

im watchin wrestling now.my poor baby's tired.she had a long day of werkin then visiting with her mom.all i did today was go to kak sanis' open house cum belated birthday celebration for ira,met julz during her tea break & went home.bummer.what a waste for a sat.keeping my fingers cross for the 26th.hopefully the ite mp gang can make it 4 raya.*crossing my fingers*.oh & i watched this cool show.Frequency.its full of suspense & also has those mushy heartwarming poignant parts that wud put 7th Heaven to shame.hurhur.its this kewl movie where this guy,Johnny has this ol radio that his dad had kept.He decided to turn it on coincidently ene day before the anniversary of his father's death, in the midst of sky storm called the aurora borealis & sumhow he cud talk to his dad on the other side which is in the past.weird huh?since Johnny's in the future he helps his dad cheat his way out of death,whereby his dad was suppose to die in this explosion being a fireman and all.& things start to change.& thats not even the kewlest part.Johnny is a cop & he's been werking on this case bout this murderer who killed 3 nurses & was never caught.but sumhow because of the past the future was changed.now 10 nurses had been killed including Johnnys' mom.*gasp*!!!so Johnny instructs his dad on where & when the victims wud be killed so that he can distract the girls & avoid getting killed.suckier thing is that they find out that the murderer is a cop.bummer huh?& shit happens along the way juz like any other movie but in the end they get that bastard & Johnnys dad is still alive & all is sweet & korny like the 40s hahah.well its a kewl movie & i wundnt mind watching it again.

this is last year raya.i like this pict.touching seh belakang tangga.hahaha

i just like this.her =)

summit

2005-11-12T01:20:00.000+08:00

arrghhh!!!i juz got back from a very "climatic" day.hurhur.went out with julz & it was fun filled with so much emotion.let me say that again with more passion. EEEEEMMOORRRRRTTTHHHEEEOOONNN!!!!!hahaha.julz brought me to the suntec summit tour which isnt exactly a tour.its juz an hour of you going up to the rooftop of suntec tower 4 & ''vualah''!!!!magical.very aww inspiring & speechless.super uber sweet of her.it was sick dude!!we could see the WHHOLLEEEE of our beloved lion city & even abit of m'sai & indonesia.aint that grand?we took picts like cam whores & cudnt shut up.haha.we were lucky the "tour guide" brought her frend up cuz she wud hav been bored & wud have wanted us to leave earlier.so we got like an extra 15 minutes grace.thank you grumpy ol moody auntie!!haha.it felt great.to feel like your at the top of the world with the person who makes you fly even higher.thannxy my muackens!!my new pet nickname for julz.oh & speaking of pets julz got 2 real life bunny bears frm toys 'r' us.she only wanted the brown one.so i sneackingly went to pay for the white one when she told me to put it back.she said it reminded her of "putih" her ol pet rabbit that died.alas my efforts failed when she caught me red handed but she gave in.i know this sounds weird & all but i cudnt let him go.i felt a bond between the two bunnies.he looked so sad when julz was still deciding if she shud get the white one or not.& he looked happier when i was gonna pay for him.i know this sounds really weird but theres sumthing bout those bunnies that made my heart sank when i looked at them.as if they were callin out to us.i really felt a bond.haha.i think im goin kookoo.haha.oh & what a small werld it is when we say taufik!!as in taufik batisah dok!!bukan batista tau.tu wrestler.haha.he was very cool & dressed simply.julz wantd to take a pict with him to make ima jealous but gez he was in a rush to meet sumone or sumthing.we cudnt catch up with him.bummer.there was also this event at the suntec convention center & sum of the roads were blocked because of that.it was a meeting & an investiture of some sort.security was heavy as death metal meets metalcore man.haha.julz was so kuit when the bustop that we were gonna take the bus at was closed & she had this pathetic face on when she asked one of the road marshals or sumtng if busses were still going by the road.she had this adorbale to die for face when the marshall said that the road was indeed closed & a pathetic "how come ah??" came out frm her loud mouth.& when were walking away frm her the auntie marshall said "oh got meeting ah".haha.it was funny cuz she wasnt suppose to have heard what julz said & it was meant to be a sarcastic slap.haha.julz is bizzare!!haha.oh & i finaly got to satisfy my cravings of those black pepper/honey glazed chicken thing-a-megic.after scrounging multiple ntucs' & cold storanges' we finlay found a halal one at those quick bites counter thingies at care'four.it was delectable.we sat & ate like pigs.haha.ok2.like kings & queens sitting at singapore river.been such a long time since weve been there.the tide was high so its very much worth it.it think its been like what?2 months since weve been there.unforgetable day i must say. I WAS AT THE TOP OF THE WORLD!!!!!!

my swan princess flew me to the heavenly sky with her angel wings

beatles

2005-11-10T04:56:00.000+08:00

IM STILL UP..RA!! RA!! RA!! BUSH!! BUSH!! BUSH!!
SO HOW LIKE THAT??!!

a long time ago....before The Beatles were famous.their original line up consisted of a fallen fifth member, Zackery Uberstein, that decided "pshycedelic-mop-like-hairs" were soon to be a thing of the past.so he decided to quit his day time job, giving up all the fame & fortune that promises him in the history engraving iconic rock & rollers.leaving behind the bangs for something else different he changed his name to zan.so he could lead a life of that of an ordinary person unknowingly to the world who he once was.

blah.lol multiply by 589.hahaha.juz bored.i wonder if i can get away being an "indie-kid" with that photo.lol

dipshit

2005-11-08T01:16:00.000+08:00

listenin to dipshit by rufio!!!haha ol skool man.one of the more "chimer" punk rock bands i started listenin too.haha still remeber listenin to those pop punk bands when i first started listening to punk rock like new found glory,mest,mxpx,nofx,the ataris,the used,BLINK 182,TSUNAMI BOMB!!!too bad tsunami bomb broke up though.but those were the times.kinda miss listening to it.i feel like retouching myself with the ol emocore & punk rock music that i so loved listening too again.which i still do.been so busy listening to so many new bands that pop up everyday which gets better then the previous ones.i miss ol skool!!!hahahah.i still remember when i first bought rufios "perhaps, i suppose..." cd which cost me a whopping 35 i think, at HMV.took the train towards marina at city hall so i cud bounce back.haha.opening the wrapper was so frustrating cuz i wanted to open it carefully yet at the same time i felt like a boy being given a new toy.hahah.& when i placed the disc in my discman (ol skool seh discman!!hahah) it was heaven.as i pressed play my heart skipped beats (not A beat but beats!!!hahaha) & as the slow increasing volume which wud lead to the most kewlest song, which is still THE MOST kewlest song to me wud fill my ear with loud energetic uber goosebumpy powers of undescribable proportions!!!!!!*jat jat jat jet jat*jat jat jat jet jat!!!ABOVE ME!!!!hahaha.another werds.it was & still is a sick wicked cd!!!i cudnt help but smile to myself in the train.i din care what ppl around me were thinking.it was rad!!!kept repeating above me & still &....alah the whole cd lah.hahaha.well im kinda tired.gt home frm lepaking with julz at sengkang.julz treat me!!!weeeee.hehe.tanxxy2 sweetie2.julz OKB!!!orang kaya babi!!!haha.cheep the kane!!!!hahaha.bodoh nyer jutawan fakir

oh & i realised how improper use of english & singlish my entry is today.but what the heck.

CHEEP THE KANE YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!!!!!BANG BANG BANG....

hari raya

2005-11-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

ho ho ho.camat hari royo.hahah.its hari raya all over again & im listening to chapter 4 by avenged sevenfold.actually i kinda hated them last time.m shadows with his stupid power metal voice & those god damn metal riffs & solos accompanied by my fav punk rock beats.but now??I LOVE EM!!!hahaha.though i dun like the new album city of evil though.its too metal 4 my taste.not hxc ah.hahah.i like hxc.hxc is good 4 your gums.

wait.wat the hell did all that about A7X & hxc have to do with raya again??hahaha.random rantings gone loose again.hahaha.juz gt home,well not just but.alah paham2 je lah.hahaha.gt back frm meeting julz,ate kfc tried the fish ole' which was used to be called the big catch way in the retro years of my childhood hahaha,rented charlie & the chocolate factory movie & lepaked at her house.ended up eating again.boy im getting fat.no offence to "plummer" ppl out there.had a big arguiment with julz juz now.hate fighting with her cuz i cant stand not touching & hugging her in my arms.sum ppl,well most,well all ppl dun understand me.julz does.but if she were to give up then i dun see the point of having a life.i might as well confine myself in the hell hole i grew up in.loves.

kak aidah & gang came 4 raya.went back yez.was fun to have them along.not 4getting the free transport.hahah.insya'allah kalau ader rezeki i wanna get sumting like abg utehs car 4 my family use.toyota rev4 L.its so smooth on the road.feel like your gliding man.as 4 now im still thinking bout getting a license or not.well see.raya has been quite a drag.noting but the same ol faces & houses we go every single year.k im stumped.dun noe what else to write.julz starting skool next week.ive gt 2 more weeks of vacation.oh & the outing breaking fast with the ol macphersonites was sick.miss them so.although i hoped for more to come.next yr then.saw is at geylang that night.wat a small werld indeed.thanxx 2 ct z 4 her generousity 4 "belanja-ing" us delifrance'.this yr bdk2 senyap jer.tak tau gi klua raya ke tak.haiz.boringz.klah i wana go eat ayam masak merah & watch ALIEN VS PREDATOR!!!!!!!! hahaha.lurve those two iconic creatures of heavenly disasters!!!!muahahaha.

"i would rather have you a day in my life.
a night.an evening.
even if i were to loose you,
then to never have you at all."

MTV

2005-10-28T00:21:00.000+08:00

MTV INTERVIEWED US!!

haha.actualy this happened like last week while waiting 2 go to jarrells friends bday party.we were juz sitting on the sidewalks when this hot short haired chinese lady went to us & asked if we wud like to do sumting like of a dedication.julz had to tell bout her most saddest moment which was when putih her rabbit died & the song that reminded her of it was my immortal by evanasence.hahha.she looked so cute being all nervous & stuff.practically whatever she said while rehearsing WASNT wat she said doing the real take,which was about 4 or 5 times.haha.not to boast but i only had 2.she called me the 1 take wonder kid.*blush *blush.hahah.i had to tell bout my saddest breakup with an ex-girlfriend which the story was so totally bogus cuz i made it up on the spot.hahaha.& the song that reminded me of it was coldplays' the scientist.but it was rad.eventhough i dun have cable tv which i still wish i had,its cool to be asked to do sumting by mtv.its like the most sickest channel out there dude.haha.but i bet they wunt even use our tapes.hahaha.bummer

well.gt home frm werk.30% sale very draggy & i dun blame the ladies cuz honestly the items that are on sale are sooo...err...sucky.haha.stupid werd.sucky.haha.k.enuff zan.went out b4 werk actually.went to ps McDs to have breakfast.& i dun mean BREAK fast.i mean breakfast.hahaa.thanxx to julz 4 not fasting along with me.hehehe.at least ader teman.haha.watched 40 yr old virgin which is so bloody funny.had tooooooo much vulgarities in it.but wat the heck.it rocks to see a 40yr old dude almost loosing a nipple on bikini waxing.hahaha.kekekness to the delight.it rained heavily when i was on my way home.the road near my ol ite mp was flooded all the way till the bustop after macpherson sec.kinda scary since the water covered the seats at the bustop,meaning if you stood there it wud prob reach your kness or groin.hehe.but seriously thats high.got better when i reached toa payoh.only a slight drizzle but i decided to take the long route home juz 4 shelter.oh & there was this cute adorable cat opposite my block.it was soooo bloodddy cute cuz it had such sad eyes & it was all white with black patches on it.its eyes were so gentle.so sad.geram ehz.mcm nak pijak2 beh buat sambal tumis.k.random rantings there.haha.

recovery

2005-10-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

Funeral for a Friend-Recovery
Dear friends of this academy, ohh
Romeo is bleeding to death
To see a friend bleed to death what for
Some kind of metaphor that I can't see?
So, I'll drink until I see it
This sky will make me sick
So, I'll give up on you
I'll give up on this
This sky will make me sick
I'll give up on this
I'll give up on you

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

So you want to hold me up and bring me down
Yes, you want to hold me up and break me down
I don't care for your sweet scent
Or, the way you want me more than I want you
I don't care for your sweet scent
Or, the way you want me more than I want you

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

It's all mine
It's all mine
It's all mine

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

Archers in your arches
Raise your fingers for one last salute
And bleed this skyline dry
Your history is mine

ooh how i love this song.its so mellow & meaningfull.love FFAF!!!aarrggghh.i wish it cud be my death anthem.today gonna finally buka at home.never did since day 1 of puasa.kinda bored staying home but i do miss playing my guitar & watching the afternoon cartoon shows.cant wait to jam with JDV.juz learned Streetcar by FFAF & To Awake & Avenge the Dead by Thrice.rad songs.aidil wud definately be excited bout streetcar.nyeahehehehe.love my new gadget.

oh this is so ol skool

y so emo?

2005-10-23T23:30:00.000+08:00

juz gt back home frm werk.quite boring today.but good lah.better then having ppl asking u to take this,that & all sorts of shit.oh & there was this lady who asked me frm which animal did the fur frm one the jackets came from.& im like "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW??!!!!DO I LOOK LIKE A POACHER OR A ZOOALIGIST OR SUMTING??!!!!"...in that short seconds that was between her question & my answer my imagination took me to great heights.hahha.i wish i cud have said that but being the kiss ass werkaholic that i am i told her id go & ask my supervisor.apparently its man made,it doesnt come frm any animal.so i assume in my head that its dyed pubic hair frm some silly fag or sumting.k.randomeness.oh & there was this oh so sweet girl that was shopping with her mom & brothers.shes like so sweet with her short hair & glasses.looked kinda yough though but very sweet indeed.i think the brothers kinda had the vibe that i was "checkin out" their little sister cuz they were looking at me all funny & stuff.....or they cud be gay & cudnt control their temptations to seduce me.hhahaha.im so vain with a capitol E for extra.k.randomness again.so happy.gez cuz my baby sent me home & i missed her company.so sweet of her to waste an hour with me in the bus juz to get down & get into her bus.LEH.oh & there was this damn disgusting dirty ol ah pek in the bus.he smelled awfull & kept spitting in the bus.he turned & talked to me sumting bout bus fares,conductors,20 dollars & getting of the bus & shit.hahaha.& i was like ah yah watever lah ahpek while julz was answering her phone.

yeztaday was quite a drag.supposedly we were suppose to buka with the ol SC gang & mr lim.but apparently mr lim cudnt make it & the ol sc that came down was,well how shud i say this.but.OLD.hahaha.like the batch a yr b4 mine.haha.in the end we ended up going to geylang ourselves.julz had plans wit her ol sec school mates.im having mine next week.but no high hopes or watsoeva.cuz usually it never turns up well.my mac siao2 liao.gez my hard disk is damaged or sumting.hate to format my disk & loose all my precious mp3s.6 gigabyte of songs man.& thats filtered,erased alot of shit i dun listen to juz to make space on this darn comp.need to get a new comp.haiz.money.arrrghh.klah.better go eat snacks & watch tv now.play guitar later.woohhooo.dare devil on tv soon!!!coolness.

aidil.irwin.me trying to act emo & shit.haha.photo taken infront of the toilet.how sweet.

oh & wats up with kids taking picts over their head when they cant even see their own face in the pict.doesnt that defeat the purpose of having a picture taken?i mean like wat?dats emo?argh.pls lah."oh look at me so emo with my sad face that you cant see cuz im so dumb that i dun know how to take pictures & all u can see is the top of my head."stereotypical.i wonder if theres such a thing as monotypical or dholbytypical ke.k.randomness again.

fuck you

2005-10-18T14:37:00.000+08:00

AAAAARRRRRHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU FAT BIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

happyy weekend

2005-10-17T23:06:00.000+08:00

oh my gosh.my exam is 2mro & i have "studied".haha.i was suppose to study over the weekend but in fact i had a great & fun weekend!!hahaha.on firday, went to Ripples Pub near somerset 4 jerrells frend bday party.we went there to juz watch jerrell & ahmads band.the show rocked.ppor thing they only had 2 jamming sessions wit their new vocalist since their older one stood them up.but it was fun none the less.they played say-o-sin hahaha.& 94 hours!!!!it was rad.then went to PS at 10 to finaly break fast.hahaha.nasib julz tak puasa.it made me wana perform more.then on sat went to mr & miss with winz,julz & aidilz.hahaa.was suppose too meet winz at 2 but i woke up at 2.hahaha.met them at skool at 5++.the bloody thing started at 7.what made aidil & i furious was that there was this band that played & they kinda sucked.ok.they really sucked.& it shud have been us up there.it shud have been Juliets Dead Valentine.man that sucks.haiizzz.wat to do.bygones.it was ok.very grand but it was more like a fashion runway show then a competition.ika din win anything but the make up/hair artist did a fabulous job on her.she has wat it takes to be a model in sg.kuddos to her.slef-satisfaction to the mr & miss.really agree to them both that they shud hav won.dats good.then we went to geylang to buka.met ana & her frend there.we ate at the s11.sent julz to the bus stop.wished she cud have stayed but it was close to 12 & i din want her to miss her last bus.poor baby.we then headed off the suntec planning to watch a movie.but when we sat at the starbucks we changed our minds.haha.the dude gave us a on the house drink cuz he made aidils frapachino in the wrong cup size.k.dat sounds weird.cup size.haha.at 130am or so we bought stuff at marina squares 711 & headed off to the chillout stage at esplanade.betul nyer chillout seh kiterz.hahaha.lepaked there till 6++am.it was fun.wished had a camera.laffed our asses off.talking bout sponge bob lah.constaltions lah.UFOs lah.& even religion.hahah.weird.but it was fun.1st time winz ton.hahaha.wat to do.goin to NS on fri.hell be probably be carrying a guitar & not a rifle if theres ever a war in sg.haha.missed hangin round wit those guys.hope to do it again 1 day.got home at 7.slpt 4 afew hours & went jamming with melanie murder.da lamer tak jam da mcm tak tau.k.bukan mcm.memang tak tau.memphis will be laid to waste make me go ga ga!!haha.then werk.boy oh boy it was a heck of a weekend in the boring life of mine.ni pun baru alik frm meeting wit julz.went to buka at long john.tried the cajun chicken.very nice.then went 2 mcD at toa payoh to "study".hahaha.juz like wat im doing now.hahah.k2.better be goin off to study now.oh & got friday button!!kewl.cud kiss faeroz.& i say cud.hahaha.CUD.not wud.hahaha =p

all the rage

2005-10-13T12:40:00.000+08:00

YYYEEAAYYY!!!listening to all the rage by funeral for a friend now.juz gt back home frm skool.AND SKOOLS OUT!!!!!yeay!!!!but exam next wk.so i cant really celebrate yet.nyehehehe.had java theory test just now.ok lah.can do lah.werkin latr.2mro might,MIGHT be goin to this party faeroz asked me to go to.sat goin mr & ms wit aidil,ana,winz & hopefully julz.she might not be able to take leave.bummer.sun jamming with melanie murder.hopefull nothing last minute turns up & all can make it.da lamer tak jam dgn drg.& next week sessioning with new band with faeroz.play guitar.woohoo.but i suck.wat to do.whack ah.hahaha.must rest now.the BED!!!!!!

maturity

2005-10-10T00:58:00.000+08:00

its nt even a week of puasa & i feel like its been a month.nt gettin a new baju kurung this yr.waste money 4 wat.the ol 1 that julzs mom did 4 me is still perfectly fine.went jamming just now.was kinda boring to be playing the same ol song over again but it was sick that we pleyd above me in hyper speed.just like rufio!!!!hahaha.so proud.cant wait to jam the new songs.excited juz talking bout it.goin to break fast with the classmates 2mro.nt sure where.hope ill have fun.nt been myself lately 4 the past few months.exam is next week.& my brain cells are still filled with crap & more crap.subject of my life this week?maturity.becoming a "man".i dun know y sum ppl think dat bein in NS means yur a man.such stereotypes.i mean u just train.u dun actually go 4 war.to me you become a real man when yur faced with the biggest obstacle in your life & the decision that u make shall be the greatest sacrifice of all.THATS when u become a man.or when u get married.have responsibilities.n like fucking tons of it.putting on a uniform doznt make u a man.what actions u do makes u one.& i cant beleive that ppl are so serious nowadays.ive always..ALWAYS led the life of no matter how old you are.your never to old to be a kid at heart.cuz then life wud be darn boring.but ppl around me beg to differ.they want me to change.they want me to grow up.& its sad that the closest to me agree.my parents have been doing it since i was 10.but i dint care.i looked foward to life outside this hell hole which they call home.but now...i have nowhere to look foward to.i gez i have to change now.for better or for worse.

why do my hands feel empty
as i turn back to leave you behind
the feeling of your comfort gone
as i leave you back in time

im sorry to abandone you
but its what must be done
for better or for worse
for vows never stay forever

a time to move on
when pathways get smaller
from all that you have learned
shall perish in disaster

one life now gone
butterflies will committ suicide
one life now awaken
reborn in crimson night

1st day of puasa

2005-10-05T05:33:00.000+08:00

its the first day of puasa.man oh man its gonna be a long month.juz gt down the phone with julz.she sounds so energetic & hyper.im im all sleepy.i gt sabotaged!!!sumone planted my alarm later & lowered my tv volume!!!!sabotager!!!!well luckily julz called.ate kuah lemak ikan.was in such a rush sehz.haha.takut da ter "time" hehehe.well.goin back to slp now.c maint phase test later at 930.cant be late.....i hope.

anything 4 u

2005-10-04T01:08:00.000+08:00

ill give up anything for you.even if it means giving up something ive never had in my life, or anything that i tried to live up to.to prove to you how much you mean to me.ill give up everything for you.everything

bday picts

2005-10-04T00:47:00.002+08:00

my very first own multi effect

still cant believe julz bought me a G2 ZOOM pedal

sooooooo happy =)

my swan princess turned tigger

ali baba wearing a pooh helmet

still up

2005-10-02T04:16:00.000+08:00

its 4:16 & im still up.cant sleep.dun noe why.downloading dyna & no direction vids now frm gigvids.oh.juliana theory.you damage my ear drums with such delicate lyrics.

The Closest Thing by The Juliana Theory
You're the words that come out easy,
And I am speechless at best.
Your star it seems to shine above the rest.
You're the face before the cameras,
The smile i'd like to earn.
The closest thing to perfect,
In a hollywood to burn.
You're the beauty that is deeper,
Than eyes can merely see.
The closest thing to perfect.
But the farthest thing from me.

I'd love to be,
The shoulder that you cry on.
I'd love to be,
The friend you call when things are great.

You're the dream that hasn't ended,
And I'm still anxious for rest.
Your words they seem to hang above my head.
You're the bud before the flower,
Unfurls into full bloom.
Captivating beauty,
But it maybe all too soon.
You're the song that writes a story,
But leaves a lot to read.
The closest thing to perfect,
But the farthest thing from me.

I'd love to be,
The shoulder that you cry on.
I'd love to be,
The friend you call when things are great.

And like I really deserve a chance to,
Sit across the table,
And tell you that I think you're wonderful.
And I think you're something special.
I guess this is my only chance to,
Say I wish I knew you,
Because I'm sure you're wonderful,
If I'd get to know you.

belated birthday

2005-10-02T00:20:00.000+08:00

OMG!!!!!!!this is the best belated birthday celebration & present ivve evr had in the 19 yrs of my life.hahaha.eventhough it was shortlived.went out to meet julz at oorchard at 7.she looked so hot in the mango top i bought.hope she loves it.hhaha.banyak nyer kener bayar bender kat seoul garden.haha.she surprised me.i was so shocked when i found out that we were eating there.haha.it was my first time.it was so kewl seh!!its a DIY restaurant/buffet thingy.haha.awesome.so jakun sehz.haha.we ate till our stomachs cud literally explode.haha.so fuuunnnnnn.loved it.& then it was time for my presie.haha.she gave me this small gift which i tot was a ring or a bracelet.& when i opened it up it was batteries.& then she took out this HUGE box that was wrapped in newspaper out her bag.banyak dier punyer bawak alik baju nak cuci.hahahaha.there were so many layers of wrapping.the suspennse was killing me.i was gentle at first but i cudnt wait so i juz tore, tore & tore.hahaha.& omg!!!!there it was.right infront of my eyes.A ZOOM G2 GUITAR EFFECT PEDAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how sick is that.its by far THE most expensive & kewlest & sickest birthday presie ive ever had.the converse shoe that julz gt 4 my bday last yr is second.KKKEERRRAAAYZZYZZYY SIALL!!!!!!!hahaha.not only did i so wantd my own effect pedal.i gt the kewlest & nicest one around.3rd generatiion dude!!!!!hahaa.im very2 grateful to my swan princess.she noes how to spoil me so much.love being spoiled by her.AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!!! still cant beleive it seh!!!!!!!best seh.ive yet 2 try it.gonna call julz in awhile later.she has the SMRT challenge 2mro.dun want her 2 slp too late.well after the whole ordeal we went 2 taka toy department & i forced her to take a picture of her wearing this tigger & winnie the pooh cap thingy.she looked so darn kiut in it.hahahaha.mcm nak tendang dier jer.EEEEEEEEEE!!!!geram!!!!hahaha.then went 2 sit at espla 4 awhile & she took 56 wit me to TP & took the 2nd last bus back to sengkang.AAARRGGHHH.im so happy.VERY HAPPY!!!!!!hhahaha.cant wait 2 try it.no more manans' 606 pedal 4 me anymore.can give it back 2 aidil.muahahaha.im so happy.did i say that im happy?well i am.very.

I love you. No matter what mood you're in
I'll try my best to make you smile, even for awhile
I'll fight the temptation to loose. i'll never give in
Even if it means, sometimes letting you win

Don't be sorry for you're behaviour
'Cause all i care is having you beside me
Please don't regret what you say my sweetest dear
'Cause i just love the words that come from your lips

Feelings will come & go
So close your eyes & take a breather
& let all the good things flow
so you'll feel much better

Your eyes tell a thouand stories
With the pages of content in your face
But i'll be here with you all the way
To be with you no matter where your mood sways

i still cant believe she got me a G2 ZOOM effect pedal =)

harry potek

2005-10-01T14:34:00.000+08:00

hahahaha.zan?harry potter?who wud have gezzed.harry potek ader ah.hahaha.but man.i wud so lurve to be harry potter just to be in the company of that hot witch beside me.hehehehe.she so hot.& i din notice her only till the photo was developed for us by the friendly nokia peeps.but id still rather go for a hot slenger cute rabbit.hehehe.just like the one on my right.hehehe

NS

2005-10-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

why do NS guys like to talk about their boring daily NS lives.even when theyre out of camp??i mean by all means talk all u want bout it in camp but i wonder why do they talk bout it outside when they go there evry single day for 2 yrs & they do what other NS guys do & stil wanna talk bout it outside camp.i mean if it were me ill be more then glad to not talk bout NS life outside cuz ill b sick of it.im sick of hearing it.always have been.hate it when ppl around me talk bout NS lah,future lah, marriage lah,career lah,religion lah..im not that sorta guy.i hate talking & thinking about the future.im not a future guy.past?depends.but definately the present.cuz u live today.u dun noe if u will 2mro.so y think of wat will happen later wen u dun noe where ull be?i noe its gd to plan ahead.but wat if u wun even be alive the next day?so dun bother.itll juz stress you out.live life to the fullest today cuz u dun noe what 2mro brings.appreciate the time NOW instead of later.

went out wit aidil,went 2 tamp to find crepes but the shop might be under renovation or its gone 4 gd.saw julz b4 she went 2 werk & we headed off to orchard 2 meet winz.went 2 far east.sat at lucky mcD & met man & ana at city hall in the late evening.that was when they started 2 have the "guy" conversations bout NS while eating at BK.i just cudnt listen.hate talking,listening bout the future.ii totally become sumone else wen that happens..sigh.then went 2 tamp 2 pick up julz.met hazman & nizam.& had supper at the usual place with julz.feeling tired now.2mro in the wee hours of the morning i have 2 go 2 skool to get an example of the DBF pproject.goin home 2 change & rest then meetin julz 2 celebrate my belated bday after that.cant wait..

because you live life today

& will never know if you will tommorrow

happy birthday??

2005-09-29T23:41:00.000+08:00

happy??birthday!!20mins or so till i officialy turn 19.what a drag.haha.had a normal day..wennt 2 skool.then met julz at tamp.she blanja me BK.haha.so kiut.haha.listenin to ol skool blink 182 now.hahaha.aliens exist!!!!!such a rad ol skool blink song.anwz julz then bought me an oreo cheesecake frm Gelare.it was very nice but julz tot it tasted yucky.haha.but it was so sweet of her to put a candle & sing me a birthday song.i hope she din see me blush.hehehe.lepaked with her till it was time 2 werk.

my "sisters" frmm mango bought me a levis polo t.soooooooo kewl.my FIRST original levis apparel.sweet dude!!haha.& it came in a kewll levis gift box.so grateful 2 them.haha.i still remembered my first impressions on them on my first day of werk.haha.i tot alison was darn pretty cuz she had the type of hair that i loved & she was wearing glasses.& she looked like a JC student.had such a crush on her.haha.i tot joanne was the strict bossy assistant supervisor.then pei chin i tot was this rocker japanese anime kinda teenager.haha.boy was i wrong!!haha.remember asking her bout a song by Utada Hikaru that was being played in the shop.haha.zan-"ehh this song is sung by Utada Hikaru ryte??".pei chin-"who is that?i dun know what song is this".hahaha.& kak yaya is..er...kak yaya.hahahha.werked till the whole isetan lights went out due to the private sale.so much folding.haha.cant wait 4 this sat.gonna pproperly celebrate my belated bday wit julz.cant wait 2 see wat shes planned up her sleeve.2mro skool.then meetin aidil.now i shall indulge myself in whiney voices of tom,marks' sarcasm & travis's deadly sick drum playing.ol skool blink.just the way i like it.

Up all night long
and there's something very wrong
And I know it must be late
been gone since yesterday
I'm not like you guys
I'm not like you

HAPPY??BIRTHDAY!!!!

sucks

2005-09-27T16:34:00.000+08:00

man it sucks not bein able to have my own bike let alone know how 2 ride one.my dad condems me frm taking bike lessons & it sucks.i want a vespa!!!a gt or even an et wud be fine with me.& it shud be surf green.hmmm.maybe sum1 will buy that 4 me 4 my birthday.hahaha.dream on zan.no one is willing to go through that for YOU!!!NO ONE!!!but its also kinda reassuring that i cant takke lessons cuz too be honest i dun trust myself on the road.i dun care if i got hit in an accident or anything but i wud kill myself if julz was riding at the back with me & it happened.it doznt matter who or if itz me but if i was the cause for julz to be hurt id rather not.im willing to nt take lessons just for her safety.for her to be safe & sound & unscratched or bruised.maybe perhaps by me can lah.hahahaha.always giving her bruises.haha.poor thing.what too do.such delicate soft silky skin thats to die for....ahhhh....(sigh of happiness)....

jealosy

2005-09-26T22:32:00.000+08:00

jealousy overcomes me.its weird when sumtimes u dun give a fuck & sumtimes u do.haiz..cant beleive im close to the "ties".a yr plus more & i can say goodbye to single digits of life.dun noe y i feel so moody.maybe cuz of skool.arrrrggghhhhh.it sucks 2 have no life with real 'friends' in it.yeah im jealous.so wat?1 day ill die becuz of it.i get drained knowing u have fun doing things with others that u usualy reject when i try 2 think of sumthing different.but its ok.i blame myself for not bein the "in" thing...

jealousy kills me rapidly...

starlight

2005-09-25T11:28:00.000+08:00

boy oh boy im sleepy.nt 2 sure why.anw yez went out with julz to the Nokia Starlight Cinema thing at the padang.hehe.we got tix frm her sis.luckily she wasnt able to go.it was so kewl.it was so cute & romantic.a picnic plus movie with the stars up in the sky & we cud even see venus & jupiter.we knew it was a planet cuz it wasnt blinking.but nt sure if it was indeed venus & jupiter according to the djs of power98 jeremy & sebastian.well it was so sweet.eventhough the movie was harry ppotter & i HATE harry potter.but i hate to admit this, the movie was actually quite intresting.hhaha.julz wud be so in my face like "i TOOOOOLLLDDDD u sooooo" ryte now.haha.they played 2 movies yez.the chamber of secrets & the prisoner of azkkerban or sumting like that.haha.sadly we only stayed 4 the 1st movie =( but still it was a very kewl ting to do with julz.cant wait 4 it again.& my dedication gt played on the big inflatable screen!!!!how kewl is that.we were in the movies!!!!!hahaha.it was so kewl.cuz when we arrived there we were asked to take pictures with the characters of harry potter & a video will be made so i can dedicate sumting to my jjulz.so nerve wrecking.hahaha.IM A MOVIE STAR!!!!!haha.it was worth skipping the gig at beat merchants for a splendid picnic in the evening with julz under the stars.k i just noticed ive been saying alota kewls.hahah.thats sick.i miss using the werd sick.blargh.got so mny tests & studying to do 4 the exam.damn im in big do do.oh & i cant wait to watch corpse bride.it looks so sick.

under the stars ill wait
day dreaming about how itll be
to determine fate
in llife with you & me

ill ride the milky ways
just to travel light years
as the constalations show your face
well dance the nights in grace

ill be the burnt out star
shining shamelessly beside you
as you glow ever so bright
but never looking down on me

to shine the nights with you
where further doesnt seems forever
hoping to take me in your presence
where one day well both shine together

missing those days with her in ite mp

2005-09-20T16:45:00.000+08:00

Shadow Demon - A demon that exist in darkness you
remain hidden to all those around you and lurk
in the shadows in darkness you exist you are
fear you are darkness

What kind of demon would you be
brought to you by Quizilla

THE RAMONES BEST DAMN ROCK BAND ALIVE (UMM... I
MEAN DEAD)

WHICH PUNK ROCK BAND ARE YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

long time

2005-09-19T23:06:00.000+08:00

hey.been quite sum time since ive made an entry.been so busyy this past few days cuz of my sisters wedding ceremony.it was kewl.not big but it was kewl.julz came & it was soo akward 4 her.but im so bloody damn proud that she came.haaaaiizzzz..im so in love with her...(sigh of relief)...juz gt back frm lepaking with her at toa payoh.she came too pick me up frm skool.so sweet of her.she looked hot in the mango top i bought 4 her.sexy mamasita!!haha.well ive made an error of major proportions!!!!hhaaha.the bleds new album is Found In The Flood, not finding the flood.hahaha.stupid me.& it rocks.literally.more singing then screaming but james still puts on a great show.still love his voice.so kewl.lurv tims voice from as i lay dying too.farking animal that guy.screaming like a dinosaur!!haha.but if u had me to choose id go 4 the bled & caliban.awesome rockers.

"Maybe you could finally be the one
who reaches in a saves me from the flood.
Collapse. this is out last chance. there's no time for relapse.
Just listen for the flood.
If not us, can i just save you?"
-My Assassin from The Bled

french name

2005-09-13T16:39:00.000+08:00

muahahaha...

Your French Name is:

Cheney Soullier

What's Your French Name?

im in love

2005-09-11T04:20:00.001+08:00

im in love.i mean i was in love but ive fallen in love again.i gez dats the way to explain it.ah.i dun noe how 2 describe it.haha.just gt back home.haha.today was magical.it was perfect.but most importantly i was with her.the day cudnt have been any better.lets start frm the begining.i met julz at orchard at 3+ i gez.& when i saw her it was llike the first time i laid eyes on her.she was so gorgeous in her dress.she looked so beautiful.she looked so speechless.so perfect.she was the angel above me in my eyes.so tunning.i cudnt stop complimenting her cuz i cudnt stop melting just by walking beside her.she made me all fuzzy like an ol discman that needs repairs.we ate at swensons.our first time eating there together.been planning 4 so long.so full seh.it was nice.the mood was so right.ahhhh.im all smilly juz thinkin bout it again.she looked so pretty when the sun shone on her.her cheeks glowed more radiantly with such joy,beauty.i felt like a member of the carebears everytime i set my eyes on her.haha.

we then proceeded to esplanade.sat for awhile to releive our stomaches & wathched typewriter play 3 songs or so & went to "chocolate bar" for our desert.first time there.it was kewl.it felt right & special especially with her.i tried the "suckao" & julz ate the croissont thing & we shared a vanilla ice cream with milk chocolate.were gonna go there again 1 day 2 try other stuff.it looked very tempting.we'll be back bald man!!haha.after filling our already full stomaches with more such delicate delights we went to where the lights,sky & atmosphere is spelled with a capitol J & Z.but this time we sat facing the side of fullerton where the restaurant was.it was a breezy night.& the lights of the fullerton was as bright as our spirits.we sat,lepaked & even took a nap.hahaha.specificly me till 1230 or so & went 2 Mac to buy supper/midnight snacks.hahaha.boy oh boy did we eat alot 2day.haha

then the momment of truth foor mme came as i finally played & sang julzs' song.FINALLY.haha.after hard werk on it.it din come out right for thhe first 2 times.haha.but i sorta got it on the third.sheesh.like it was not nervous enuff playing infront oh her but evrytime i looked into her eyes i shook more & my nervousness got to overdrive.haha.but it was great to see the smile on her face & that she almost cried.it was sweet.she's sweet.man im so in love.i hope she likes the song.it took alota courage for me to do what i had to.haha.zan singing.haha.never get ah.once in a lifetime opportunity.haha.but most importantly im glad that she took me back into her life cuz my life wud be nothing without her.im so happy.no werds can describe how i feel & how perfect today was.i wana grow old with you my swan princess.i wana have a house with you.have kids, grandchildren & our grandchildrens grandchildren.hahahaha.i know i wunt regret living life with her in it to be by my side.thats the longest weve been out b4.got the taxi at 3 i think.stupid standard chattered thing made all the rooads close so we had to walk quite abit.but it was worth it ;)

i cant wait to live life with her.to experience & involve her in my lifes journey in as many things as possible.ive met the one...."ill pity the woman who marries me that isnt you.cuz even though ill marry her you'll always forever be in my heart.a permanent part of it.cuz i'll never love someone else the way i love you."

trust our love my dear
and i'll see you here next year

im in love

2005-09-11T04:20:00.000+08:00

im in love.i mean i was in love but ive fallen in love again.i gez dats the way to explain it.ah.i dun noe how 2 describe it.haha.just gt back home.haha.today was magical.it was perfect.sorta.but most importantly i was with her.the day cudnt have been any better.lets start frm the begining.i met julz at orchard at 3+ i gez.& when i saw her it was llike the first time i laid eyes on her.she was so gorgeous in her dress.she looked so beautiful.she looked so speechless.so perfect.she was the angel above me in my eyes.so tunning.i cudnt stop complimenting her cuz i cudnt stop melting just by walking beside her.she made me all fuzzy like an ol discman that needs repairs.we ate at swensons.our first time eating there together.been planning 4 so long.so full seh.it was nice.the mood was so right.ahhhh.im all smilly juz thinkin bout it again.she looked so pretty when the sun shone on her.her cheeks glowed more radiantly with such joy,beauty.i felt like a member of the carebears everytime i set my eyes on her.haha.

we then proceeded to esplanade.sat for awhile to releive our stomaches & wathched typewriter play 3 songs or so & went to "chocolate bar" for our desert.first time there.it was kewl.it felt right & special especially with her.i tried the "suckao" & julz ate the croissont thing & we shared a vanilla ice cream with milk chocolate.were gonna go there again 1 day 2 try other stuff.it looked very tempting.we'll be back bald man!!haha.after filling our already full stomaches with more such delicate delights we went to where the lights,sky & atmosphere is spelled with a capitol J & Z.but this time we sat facing the side of fullerton where the restaurant was.it was a breezy night.& the lights of the fullerton was as bright as our spirits.we sat,lepaked & even took a nap.hahaha.specificly me till 1230 or so & went 2 Mac to buy supper/midnight snacks.hahaha.boy oh boy did we eat alot 2day.haha

then the momment of truth foor mme came as i finally played & sang julzs' song.FINALLY.haha.after hard werk on it.it din come out right for thhe first 2 times.haha.but i sorta got it on the third.sheesh.like it was not nervous enuff playing infront oh her but evrytime i looked into her eyes i shook more & my nervousness got to overdrive.haha.but it was great to see the smile on her face & that she almost cried.it was sweet.she's sweet.man im so in love.i hope she likes the song.it took alota courage for me to do what i had to.haha.zan singing.haha.never get ah.once in a lifetime opportunity.haha.but most importantly im glad that she took me back into her life cuz my life wud be nothing without her.im so happy.no werds can describe how i feel & how perfect today was.i wana grow old with you my swan princess.i wana have a house with you.have kids, grandchildren & our grandchildrens grandchildren.hahahaha.i know i wunt regret living life with her in it to be by my side.thats the longest weve been out b4.got the taxi at 3 i think.stupid standard chattered thing made all the rooads close so we had to walk quite abit.but it was worth it ;)

i cant wait to live life with her.to experience & involve her in my lifes journey in as many things as possible.ive met the one...."ill pity the woman who marries me that isnt you.cuz even though ill marry her you'll always forever be in my heart.a permanent part of it.cuz i'll never love someone else the way i love you."

trust our love my dear
and i'll see you here next year

lucy in the loo

2005-09-10T00:22:00.000+08:00

LUCY IN THE LOO
ROCKS MY HEART OUT

just got backk frm lepaking with irwinz.met him at somerst to give his resignation letter at robinsons.haha.lucky dude goin 2 ns soon.gd luck to him.went to eat at this store near centerpoint.the makcik very funny.she wasnt kidding.her chicken was damn bloody hot.my stomachs so wanting to bombs away ryte now.muahaha.saw asima at werkplace just now.she was so nice to us wanting to blanja us.next time ah.kesian plak pakai duit dier sehz.potong gaji.but she looked great.long time never see her.getting more prettier.glad shes happy in life now with love =)

bumped into serine & a hot friend of hers just now.went to see sum rap thing at the esplanade library for awhile.haha.we like stayed 4 only 20 mins.hhahaha.but worth going down cuz there was a gig at the chillout stage.power pop weekend.the marilyns & lucy in the loo played.i hearts LITL sooooooo much.the vocalist/guitarist/cute/sweet/songwritter/heart melter just blew me away.the way she sang & brought herself on stage was like.........so speechless.her voice oh so.......speechless.hahaha.i melted like frostings on a hot dessert morning watching her sing.you could see the emotions she put out while she's singing.it was so sincere.a sweet girl playing the guitars & a voice thats oh so sweet.what more cud 1 ask 4.haha.k enuff bout hana.haha.i noe her name cuz i bought their ep.5 bucks!!!wasted if i din get it.saw on their website that theyre left with only 50 copies left.oh n hana has the same freaking birthday as me!!!!!!!how kewlness is that!!!k im starting to sound like a phsyco.muahahah.i dun care.i like her!!!hahaha.their cd is so nice.its full of nice-ness.hahaha.so wanted 2 get her autograph but too shy to ask lah.hehehe.maybe next time.id love to catch them at KL 1 day.ahhhhh....i feel soo power pop today.hahaha...

"So stop....You should stand still for a moment with me,
And stop....Take a look around and you'll see"

dbf canceld

2005-09-09T09:45:00.000+08:00

great.dbf test postponed.again.shud have talked 2 julz longer yez.hehe.anw sumtimes things dun appear to happen the way u want it or how its uppose to be.well going out with irwin latr.lepaks.i wanna go survey sum stuff.can wait for 2mro!!so excited!!

my words aren't for your entertainement

but for my hearts fulfilment

yeay.happy blog

2005-09-07T01:35:00.000+08:00

yeay.im happy with my new blog skin.its so much more neater.ahh.finally.i feel at ease 4 my blog.hehe.can stop searching 4 a better blogskin.k.have c maint test 2mro.& here i am typing this.sheesh.haha.grrrrrr...stomach ache lah.muz go shitty shit now.hehe.msging julz at the smae time.hehe.grrrrr...(stomach growling)...

whats up with emo?

2005-09-06T20:47:00.000+08:00

hmm.i dunnoe what to say bout this past few days.been very kerazy i gez.haha.oh well.anw im having second tots bout "wasting myself".now that ive gotten closer back to her it seems like life is way much more colourfull & better.gosh its amazing.anw she was sick yeztaday.poor thing.she looked so sick & kiut.missed those times so badly.very much looking foward to this sat.not the morning though but later that day.i know that im so gonna hav a blast with julz.cant wait.nothings been on my mind but this sat.damn.2mro werk.nvm.pay in 2mro.cant wait 2 get my piercing.been wanting it so long.

OH & FEED THE FLOOD BY THE BLED

MUST

GET!!

canceled

2005-09-03T12:36:00.000+08:00

damn.jamming canceled.was so looking fowrd to it.but wat the hell.seven collar t-shirt playing today & im nt goin.so damn broke.damn.my squared circle opening 4 them.& lunarin too.haiz.nvm.changed my skin cuz the old one had too many problems.it was so fucked up.hate this one.but wat the heck.just finished learning how to play The Shooting Star That Destroyed Us All by A Static Lullaby.cant wait 4 pay.must buy the bleds new album.sure rocks.another boring sat.well i gez ill go watch tapes.long overdue of movies to watch.

"Now's it time
Now's it time

The more I try
The more I lose
But today
Will you remember me ?

But today
Will you remember me ?
But today
Your eyes

Your eyes
They shine
Your eyes "

memoriesOfUNeverFade

2005-08-30T18:19:00.000+08:00

"i miss you, i miss you so far
and the collision of your kiss that made it so hard
made it so hard"
- Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance

memories of you will never fade away.

all alone

2005-08-27T19:39:00.000+08:00

when yur out at town or just chilling anywhere with your frends & suddenly u act all emo & decide to sit in one corner thinking how lonely & pathetic u are guess again.cuz im here.alone.in this house not worthy of calling home.with no companion.when everyone seems to be avoiding u on this perfect sat which is suppose to be your great escape.nothing beats this tears.gez ill be trapped.for a long time.shud i?or shudnt i?just wash away all this tears with one last act that will set ripples in my stagnent water?shud i waste it all like that?shud i close the curtain in act of desperation?it seems so much easier.so many ways of ending this story.yet only one finale.only one trajic outcome......

thanxx for the sweater

2005-08-26T10:35:00.000+08:00

oh & id like to thank ika for the sweater.it made my nights of sleep easier by keeping me warm & whatever fragrance she uses on that thing, its heavenly.i snooze like a baby hugging & smelling it.thanxx.better remember to wash it seh.hur hur hur.

camp aftermath

2005-08-26T10:00:00.000+08:00

so much to say after the camp.so much ive felt.it was ok.kinda bored at first as my group members were'nt adpted to the environment & team-mates yet.mann im still feeling the after effects of the fever.so weak to type.but what the heck.been wasting my hols at home cuz of my fever.luckily its not dengue.went 4 a blood test.back to the camp.my group was ok.quite a group.theres bob the ever so rebel but joker of the group, nurul who says shes no minah but acts like one.hakim the weighting balance.sina the cute little helpful hardwerking gal.ainn the strange morbid girl.khai the slenger dude who talks alot confidently but ends up being a wimp.zul the fag.hahaha.kason the brains that evryone was depending on too much.the rest were ok.but i enjoyed the nights there.sat by the pond or lagoon or watever its called till the wee hours of the morning with ika.laffed smiled.had alota fun with her.to me the best part of the camp was the nights & the last day.i miss it already.the full moon right above yur head,the un-empty sky filled with glittering stars & the occasional splashes of water from those mysterious fishes.ahh.it was brilliantly magnificent.she just took me away & brought me into her world.eventhough it was tiring & probabaly the cause of my fever,i dun regret having spent that time with her.kinda sad though that i dinn get to hang out with the guys but y include yurself when yur not being called in the group.might as well i went to someone who WANTS me for company.but im grateful that yan did remeber.just that i switched off my hp liao.

got sick on the last day.sway.my eyes as usual swollened up like i got beat up by mike tyson.wasnt in the clebrating mood.but i cried.yep.very emotional goodbyes.i liked them.cloud 9.hahaa.what a kental name.but at least we won 3rd prize!!im happy 4 them.their hardwerk & determination.though i beleive some dont deserve it.but were a team.bygones.floor was very emo too.poor floorina.hhaha.nak step mak saleh jer nama.haha.but i wana say thankz for helping me out.without yur help i dunt think i cud ever survive the camp & the kids.thanxx floor.

its strange that ppl only remember those forgotten when something happens to them.its sad.after all iv been through in life.the loneliness,the "family" i had,the ppl who call themselves my "friends" & as usual i always tot how worse can it get as it is.& reality slaps me right in the face.i was left behind.LEFT BEHIND.how many ppl get left behind?they doo when they are unable to cont their journey or when they are asked too.but i was forgotten.after all that happened,this had to happen to me.its the worst that ive been through.this is ubin for gods sake!!u talk about welfare & shit & u leave one of your ppl behind??talk is cheap.i cried throughout the whole journey of the ferry.yan was the only one who remembered.im grateful that he did.w/o him i think id kill myself on that island knowing that no one knows of my existence.it was very heart felt when yan cried seeing me that way.i cried even more.we talked till 830 wen we reached punggoll.tannxx 4 letting me open up.i din noe he knew so much about me that even i was surprised.but still.i AM INSIGNIFICANT.will always be....ill cry mysellf too sleep everyday.knowing no one understand me.but yet again as i write this her name pops up in my head.cuz she's the only 1 who ever truely listened & understood me.she was my journal.she's my poem.strange that after 19 yrs of my life it only took her a yr&8months or less to be one wih my heart...............

back from ubin

2005-08-25T12:23:00.000+08:00

"one day when all the leaves will clear
all thats loved will be gone
for another broken heart will be kept
in silent from everyones fear

when he shall be abandoned
is when all will take notice
away from their busy lives
to see that he was once alive

regret not dear friends
for his tears roll down with pride
knowing that he lived a life
eventhough all that has been a lie

so he'll leave with one last tear
to say the saddest goodbye
throughout all this years
to say his first & final prayer"

goin fer camp

2005-08-20T00:44:00.000+08:00

i cant beleive im goin to ubin later!!4PM camp,and as a fasci.how coolness is that.first time to ubin.& ive not yet to pack my bags.haha.latrz.got home from goin out with ika.had fun but she seemed awfully quiet.worried bout her.met her after went to CMPB to defer my NS.im a free man!!for now...sat at espla & watched the moon rise.how beautiful it was,so big n perfectly rounded.flawless.it was a breathtaking view with the winds blowing & the relaxation of the calm splashing of the water.& she was beautiful like the moment.all dressed up with her wide eyes.she looked good.or in the words of the famous paris hilton "thats hot".glad she didnt change after the photoshoot.

alrighty then.juz finished talking with julz on the phone.shes sick.maybe a high fever.so worried bout her.hope she takes good care of herself while im away.wat the hell am i sayiing?so wat if im away or not.it doesnt matter.it never mattered.my existence is unoticeable to everyone.ok.enuff shity shitty bang bang stuff.g2g pack my bags.hope ive got enuff energy 4 2mro.pulau ubin.. are you ready for me??...here i come!!!!

one week

2005-08-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

One week.& it seems like eternity that ive not had her in my life.hmm.i just gt home frm werk & hanged out with her 4awhile at yan kun kaya coffeeshop.& sat at her bustop.oh how I wish she could have stayed longer."I miss those sparkling eyes of hers, her radiant wide sunny smile.her glowing face that puts the suns blaze to shame."it was so sudden when her bus came & she left.she turned & gave me one last smile.the one that she always does when were face to face in each others company.i tried my best to fight my tears when I saw her at werk.& again when it was almost closing time & they played Blues’ Breath Easy.ive never been so demolished in my life.& this is the most ive cried in my worthless 18++yrs of my life.god I wish I cud quit my job so I don’t have to hold back my tears.enuff said.i dun wanna break down again.anw went to ikas werkplace last 2 days.it was fun hanging out at IMM.kinda boring but it was kewl that we kept each other company.met my dad on mon after hanging out with ika after her werk.i took the last bloody train & it bloddyly stopped at ang mo kio.waited 4 159 but to my disappointment the last bus was gone.had to take taxi.640 gone.hahaha.boleh beli mc sehz.yez was even funnier.after lepaking at bukit batoks mc waited 4 157 to go home.luckily still gt 2nd last bus cuz it was like 1145.as I JUST boarded the bus.it broke down.hahaha.fuck.it was hilarious sia.im like some walking curse.haha.zan the walking evil omen.hahaha.luckily there was a last bus.days in skool are getting worse.im getting more & more lazier to go to skool.sucked at all my test.im so dead.1st semester & im already such a "model" student.sucky.i din get the bridge club leader.imran too.& loudmouth smelly johnny gt in..like WTF?!!just cause ppl have certain attitudes that doesn’t mean their not serious & hardwerking in other stuff.theres such thing as excelling in other then academic studies.shit hole stereotypes.been smoking a lot.but wat a rush it feels to have all that smoke go in u & out.4 that brief moment im in a werld of freeness of thinking.it sets a free.but 4 a moment.cuz wen the flames gone.& its filter is all that’s left.all that im left with is an empty pocket & a snap back to reality.i really wanna meet the dude or dudet who invented cigarettes & kick their bloody ass.or shove a decades worth of cigarettes in their heart & lungs & see how rich itll make them.

what the hell.im such a hypocrite.lets go smoke.yok…

You & Me

2005-08-16T02:58:00.001+08:00

something i came up with.inspiration from nothingness.

"Im the superman of your dreams & you'll be the unicorn in my nightmares,
& fly off to eternity with a pass to a night in the milky way.
riding the airwaves of radio play & pretend to care,
what others might say when in fact we'll just smile
& gaze at each other with other intentions.

I miss our times that its just you & me against the world.when its just our universe even in a room crowded with people.
When our feet will stay strong in the ground as tornados wreck havoc along our golden brick road.
I miss killing myself & you giving me air to live.i'd like to live again one day.
To be resurrected again to relive life with you.because i would live a thousand lives,
just to be with you
oh just to be with you"

this song is nice.i cried listening to it.

"Lifehouse-You And Me"

What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive

confused

2005-08-14T15:08:00.000+08:00

"jump!!jump!!jump!!can u see the light behind me??".im listening to a bullet for my valentine-just another star.nice song.anw im werking latr so i tot id update ma blog.yesterday was a blast.went 4 the 4PM meeting.it was ok.but i was so nervous seh.haha.then went to jam.jamming was fun except regret using aidils mic cuz it was all too bassy & shit.shud have used mine.but it was kewl.didnt go to the gig at mica yez cuz went to lepak with zur,irwin,ain,hazman.iman,aidil & ana joined us later cuz they went gaming after jamming.it was so farney playing stupid games that make u look dumb.i was so stressed out at first.so many thoughts of her.kept smoking like shit.one after another.but im glad i had fun.i missed chilling out with them.hope to do it again.arrghhh.i miss ite mp.i miss the ol times.i miss her.damn.im shaking again.i need to smoke i think.we lepaked,laffed & took pictures till late.1140 or so.we were so kanchong that we might not have buses or trains home.but it was well worth it.long time i never kecoh like that.felt dizzy & wanted to vommit wen i gt home.lots of smoke & bus rides dun go well together.got home.rested & talked to ika till 630am.like wow.drank 2 cups of coffee seh.i drank one in the morning & still i cudnt control my eyes.coffee aint werking fer me.it never has.but wat the heck.i like the taste.haha.im so confused ryte now.i dun wanna hurt her.but enjoy having her for company.things are so complicated ryte now.i wish i cud close my eyes & transport into my own haven..

"ill pollute the air with my thoughts,
as memories of you i share,
watching the ashes burn,
reminds me of the fire we once had,
the passion that didnt die as fast as this fire,
but as the wind blows through,
reality burns me with the shock,
that these lights might one day go off,
holding ciggarettes in my hand,
hoping that it'll last & not fade away,
but like the wind,
it'll sweep pass you by & kill the flame.

4 walls gig

2005-08-12T23:46:00.000+08:00

im home!!!juz got back frm the 4 walls gig at NYP.it was boring lor.cuz all metalheads.except 4 the last 2 bands that played,no direction & hamartia.they were power lor.give me even more semangat to wanna perform.shit ass sia.i wanna wreck havoc.anw went to meet ika at city hall after skool juz now.had fun as usual.laff till gt stomach ache.haha.farney gal.then went to the gig.hehe.made aidil wait 4 like half an hour.n he was like sick.haha.sorry dude.nick came late but in the end he join his puak.bleah.haha.nvm.jamming 2mro.training 4 cam 2mro morning.so stressed.so broke,so fast.stupid julia using my dads money.fuck her to hell.ok.so vulgur.go to hell.anw loads of chicks at the gig juz now.but saw her.melted.missed her.but ill have to try to not be that way.itll beat the purpose of all of this.but she looked beautiful as ever.arrghh

"We're going down, down in an earlier round
And Sugar, we're going down swinging
I'll be your number one with a bullet
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it"
-Fall Out Boy-Sugar We're Going Down

dbf lesson

2005-08-12T10:07:00.000+08:00

damn.in skool now.dbf test is moved to next wk monday.shud have talked to ika longer.haha.kerazy.met her yez.she came to tamp after drama & all we did is sat & drank 4 like half an hour.we had to leave early cuz she had to go home.sent her.farney stuff in the train.haha.cant beleive she gt a prank call from triumph asking her kerazy questions.slenger nyer budak.but had fun.always.had a major migrain actually yez.afta the stupz naphfa.damn i failed juz cuz of my stupidity that i walked on the last 2 rounds during the 2.4.damn sia.i actually did great 4 the other stations.well bygones.anw theres a gig today at NYP.going with nick.actually wanna go meet ika.but...ermm.ntah ah.see how it goes.no direction & hamartia playing.datll be kewl.off to werk skool werk now.peace.

my swan princess

2005-08-10T14:25:00.001+08:00

"a year has passed, the seasons go"

im crying now.its been such a long time since i wrote here.yesterday was magical.& it was the last most magical night il have with her.time will tell & only fate will decide to bring us together again.i miss her already.i cant stop crying.my tears are like rain drops in the most worst storm in the century.we sat where we first started our 1yr 8months & 9days of the most beautiful love story, that ive been privelaged to be one of the main actors in.beside her.we sat there till 130am or so.& ill never 4get singapore river.ill always think of her whenever i pass that place or even go near it.im so grateful that ive got a chance to meet her.the only person who really understood me,who really for once listened to me & the only person i opened up so much to.theres not one person i opened up to other then her.heck i dun even tell myself the things i tell her.she gave me hope.she gave me everything i never had.she gave me life.im lost for words.this is hard cuz its the first time that im ending a realtionship & im not angry or frustrated or i feel betrayed.im sad.heartbroken.lost all meaning to live.im shaking.ive lost control over my body.its so hard to type this.ive kept stoping & typing,stoping & typing.memories are lingering in my head.the fun,innocent,funny times we had.so irreplacable.her dorkyness.her smile.......ill miss that.tinking bout that makes me cry even more.her smile that lights up my shadowy days.that smile was my saviour.my prescription to my lonely symptoms.my pillars for heavy boulders.the single thread that differentiates heaven & the reality of this world.my swan princess.my love.my life.ill never forget her.ill never forget us.i thank her.sincerely from the bottom of my heart.for letting me be the happiest man in the world.even if it was for a period of time.ill never forget that.she was..is the best ill ever have.our song that started it all.& hopefully one day will bring us together again....

-"Kissing A Fool"
You Are Far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find
Peace of mind,
Til you listen to your heart

People
You can never change the way they feet
Better let them do just what they will
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart from you
People
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through

Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and ties
So goodbye
But please don't take my heart

You are far
I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces
And mend my heart
Maybe i'll be strong enough
I don't know where to start
But i'll never find
Peace of mind
While i listen to my heart

People
You can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will,
For they will
If you let them
Steal your heart

And people
Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew i loved you
We could have shown them all

But remember this
Every other kiss
That you ever give
Long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you
Like i always do
There's something there
That can't compare with any other

You are far
When i could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that i was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool

Xxleave me alonexX

ludge

its not over

forgive recording

goo goo

sun burnt

high hopes

so much

rahima pixx

rahima

grreeaattt

beast wars

bein nice

nothing more than a line in your book

migrain

so fast

new oc season

haggen daz

amirul sick

confused

cant sleep

usah lepaskan

Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlaluKu ingin selalu bersama mu

miserable

Your Guardian Angel

music attack

stupid me

alone in the rain

gone.all gone

bored

thailand incomplete

thailand

shaky

very bad morning

italy won

wat happens when...

long time no update

new pc!!

iiiiiimmmmmmm bbbbaaaaacccccckkkkheheheh.ive got a new pc bebeh!!WINDOWS PC!!!yeah!!no more mac fer me.heheh.yeay!!it so rocks.hehe.will be back agian to update soon.cya buddy ol blog

CreativeCentre

100000 missed calls

repent

tonsillitis

3rd gig

new year jan

new year pt2

oh.& julz looks se-mackingly adora-bely ca-ute drinking teh tarik =)

se-mackingly adora-bely ca-ute

new year

spoiled

christmas

mango sale

gig rocked

no skool 4 2 days!!!

2nd yr anni

teen angst

skool re-opens

depression

photos

frequency

summit

beatles

IM STILL UP..RA!! RA!! RA!! BUSH!! BUSH!! BUSH!! SO HOW LIKE THAT??!!

dipshit

CHEEP THE KANE YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!!!!!BANG BANG BANG....

hari raya

MTV

MTV INTERVIEWED US!!

recovery

y so emo?

fuck you

AAAAARRRRRHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU FAT BIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

happyy weekend

all the rage

maturity

1st day of puasa

anything 4 u

bday picts

still up

its 4:16 & im still up.cant sleep.dun noe why.downloading dyna & no direction vids now frm gigvids.oh.juliana theory.you damage my ear drums with such delicate lyrics.

Tak mudah ku melupa segala yang berlalu
Ku ingin selalu bersama mu

iiiiiimmmmmmm bbbbaaaaacccccckkkk
heheheh.ive got a new pc bebeh!!WINDOWS PC!!!yeah!!no more mac fer me.heheh.yeay!!it so rocks.hehe.will be back agian to update soon.cya buddy ol blog

oh.& julz looks
`se-mackingly` `adora-bely ca-ute`
drinking teh tarik =)

`se-mackingly` `adora-bely ca-ute`

IM STILL UP..RA!! RA!! RA!! BUSH!! BUSH!! BUSH!!
SO HOW LIKE THAT??!!

AAAAARRRRRHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK YOU FAT BIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!

because you live life today

& will never know if you will tommorrow

LUCY IN THE LOO
ROCKS MY HEART OUT

my words aren't for your entertainement

but for my hearts fulfilment