Tuesday, December 21 yeay.happy with my new template.been working for it since 2am just now.happy bout it but certainly not happy bout something else.well.4give & 4get.i juz got 2 find out dat no matter how much i crave 4 attention,how much i wanna mix around,how much i wanna share my feelings with THE one,how much i wanna have a gf.i enjoy..enjoy bein alone.i dun noe y but i juz feel comfortable,feel myself wen im alone.maybe dats the way i am.maybe dats y im here.2 be alone.always.forever.well i can feel it in me,in my blood,veins,my heart,my soul.i juz feel it no matter how much its being filled.i mean.face it.i enjoy eating alone.id rather take the bus alone so i can listen 2 my music n be in my own world.i enjoy bein alone at home.n my social skills really sucks.maybe its the sense of freedom i get when im alone.but at the same time i dun wanna be alone.then i wun be able 2 laff.which is something i really enjoy doing.laughters the best medicine.but the silent treatments good too. -see that rock on that high cliff its been there 4 awhile the green grass sways it was said to be placed there by a myth flowers blossom as days pass rivers dry as summer yearns we all die as years pass not appreciating the life weve earned this life is as real as it is not like in the matrix where its fake watch me as i slit my wrists use my blood as frostings on this cake hang me on that high rise edge only being held by my own veins these people have made me insane as i lay dead in this thunder storm rain ||my heart.bled||5:03 AM

Monday, December 13 Cudnt write yez n day before due 2 sum stuff.but ill write it here instead - 10 December 2004 went 2 skool 4 drama practiz.met winz earlier cuz he wantd 2 do the TX card.member jakun shez.haha.slenger ar bdk 2.went 2 eat at circuit rd afta pract.been awhile since i ate the nasi ayam goreng there.missed it.but not as much as how much i missing julz ryte now.i so want her 2 come back now.if i cud go there n steal here away i wud.then went 2 work.had a migrain at work on the last hour.4 2 weeks isetans gonna close late till 1030.dat sucks.well my migrain wasnt gettin betta.instead i even felt like vomitting in the store room.multiple times i tried vomitting but i cudnt.it was very irritating that it wudnt come out but it wantd 2.it made me weak.cudnt take it.ah cat gave me vicks n 4 the very 1st time i used viicks on my head.i HATE using those medical oil things.vicks,minyak kappak.u name it it.i hate it.but ah cat din 1na leave till i put it on.so wat the heck.haha.but i went 2 the toilet n washed it off as soon as she went out.haha.i went back by train.slpt in there like a drunken dude.dat was the end of dat migrain day. - 11 December 2004 was suppose 2 meet aidil at his house n go meet man at city hall 2 go to the gig at RP.but my kak aidah n abg uteh came 2 SG 4 a surprise visit.they came in the morning like 3 am or sumting.crazy huh.anwz.b4 meetin the guyz at city hall i went out wit abg uteh 2 lavender 2 buy tixx 4 them 2 leave the very next day.haha.slenger seh kiter.goin there we took the wrong bus.coming back oso we took the wrong 1.ahah.4got 2 cross lah.hehe.met man there.aidil just woke up so we decided 2 meet him at the poly.tix sales was at the door.4 bucks.gd price 4 dat gig since alot of the gd bands were playin dat day.man wish i cud be on the stage.wen will it be my turn.im hopin.keeping my fingers cross.it so kewl 2 see them perform.i wanna do that.patience.one day.one day.din stay till the last 2 bands cuz man had a curfew n my family was waiting lavendar to eat TULANG!!my fav.temaned aidil 2 city links HMV b4 meeting my folks.we never eat as a family except wen my sis's around.shes like the stapler between my mom n i.but wen shes not there its our own world again.something i prefer.i dun know y.but maybe cuz im used 2 loneliness.the gig was fun.alota crazy pple there as expected.alota chicks 2.hehe.some of them were like sooooo hot.hehe.but i wudnt want my gf 2 b like them.i like mine the way she is.theyre 2 wild n crazy 4 me.not my type.the local bands r gettin betta.jealous i am.wen m i goin 2 do that.i cant wait.im dying 2 let it out.but my shyness is still in my blood n veins.damn i hate myself.well anw kak aidahs goin back 2mro.kinda fun having her here.the only family member i can communicate with. well as 4 2day.sent kak aidah n abg uteh.stupid taxi driver.dun even knoe where hes goin.might as well let me be in the drivers seat.speaking of driving im still having second thots bout taking a car license cuz if i do have 1 wat use do i have on it if i dun have a car ryte?still thinking bout that.its not cheap 2 buy a car.its ex.n its like wayyyy exxxxxx.damn u SG..haha.nahz.i still appreciate my country.for some of the finer things they have that is.haha.work was ok 2day.alot of minahs came by.all acting jambu n stuff.melampau u.haha.took the train wit hazman or shud i say patrick.haha.slenger nye bdk.as if im not slenger eh.hehe.i miss julz.now i know how she feels wen i leave her 2 go 2 KL."i miss you, i miss you"..think ill go cut my hair 2mro b4 going 4 drama practiz.yeah.it is in a nuisance ryte now......cut ||my heart.bled||12:29 AM

Friday, December 10 so sad.jullz went 2 msia n shell be there till nex tues.its gonna suck not having here with me.well went out with man n irwin 2 watch blade just now.nice movie.not a penny wasted..went 2 winz house after dat.it was kinda boring lepaking at esplanade cuz there werent any chicks around.hehe.thats y we went 2 winz house.i feel so unhappy.din get enuff of julz b4 she went off.wed work but on tues we had fun.we celebrated our anniversary.we postponed it due 2 financial stuff.hehe.but the wait was well worth it.it was PERFECT. - 07 December 2004 i went out early 2 buy some stuff.so emberassing 2 go 2 a bra shop in the wee hours of the morning.i was so nervous.i bought 4 julz a pair of bra that she told me she liked wen we browsed dat shop quite some time ago.La Senza or sumting like dat la the shops name.there was this malay sales person in the shop.while i was waiting 2 pay 4 my "tings" she turned n lookd at my direction.so i smiled out of courtesy.but wat i got instead was a face as if i was some kinda perverted freak buying bras in the morning so i can sniff them later aftnoon.sheesh.dat even made me more emberassed.passed that n met julz at serangoon station.she was kinda late so dats y i took the nel n met her there.we went 2 city hall cuz i wantd 2 waste time as i actually bought tix 4 the duck ride.shes been wanting 2 take dat ride ever since i can remember.n wat more of a better timing 4 me to take her on the ride on our anniversary celebration.It was very fun n bumpy.i really enjoyed it especially went it went on the sea.it was kewl.julz n i was like singing the stupid duck theme song over n over during the ride."on the duck tour.......'click'..'click..on the......duck tour.....'click'" haha.it was fun.after the ride we went 2 taka.we went 4 lunch/dinner at breeks.julz paid 4 it.she insisted cuz she felt guilty not planning or doing anything on our anni.haha.cute n humble of her.i gave her a pair of perlinis earings wen we were having our dessert.its a good ting she only likes normal round earings.hehe.if not i wudnt know wat kinda earings 2 get 4 her.hope she likes it.looks fabulous on her.well wat doznt lk fabulous on her.shes like a goddess.put anything on her n she looks good on it no matter wat.We then went 2 singapore river to end the day.i brought a file full of our past memories,pictures,cards,gifts.anything dat cud stur up memories.we sat there talked bout it.enjoyed the kewl breeze.enjoyed our company.it was heaven.i then read Julz the poem i wrote 4 our anni.hope she likes it.its kinda a tradition, the poem ting.it was great..the kewll air.her company.the wet floors.the slight drizzle.what we wanted.best thing was we din even have 2 ask 4 it.PEREFCT.ended the day wen i sent her home.haha.sempat seh kiter make out.hahah.n boy di we really make out.mentang mentang dia da 18.haha.a day that ill neva 4get.our 1 yr anniversary.n those 2 come.cant wait. ||my heart.bled||1:37 AM

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scar.your words

dreaming.a reality

guitar effects pedal les paul guitar a PC < kappa canvas shoe light coloured jeans/pants < new bangle/bracelet ZARA sweater TOPMAN shirt digital camera