my conciliatory to fallacy

Wednesday, March 28

recently ive been goin goo goo over the goo goo dolls.its nice to listen to some ol school alternative rock stuff.ive been really contemplating alot lately.about almost everything.haiz.i just don't know.lifes been hard.mentally.its weighing me down heavily.i feel like ive gt something to let go.or shud i say something to put back in my mind.its like a pc without a mouse or keyboard.you cant really do much without it.heck you can't do anything with it.k.wait.im like goin over the point here.hmm.ntahlah.i wish for better days.im in the mood for goo goo dolls & their dreamy guitar riffs & oh so sweet singing tunes & lyrics.i wish i cud do that.dreamy guitar riffs.oh yeah.so far im liking the progression of duxtons song writting.loving it.

i guess i can relate to this song.all i can do is see you frm a far.but no doubt i'll still be the greatest fan of you'r life.

Goo Goo Dolls-I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder

The strands in your eyes
That color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath
Emeralds from mountains

Thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love

I'll be captivated,
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

Rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival
You're my living proof

My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated
I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows
Of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

I've dropped out
Burned up
Fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in
Turned on
Remembered the things you said

I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicide
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life
I'll be your cryin' shoulder
I'll be love suicideI
'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of you life

||my heart.bled||1:06 AM

Monday, March 26
ooowwwwww.my back hurts as much as my heartache.cheh.haha.no.but seriously ah.my sun burn is really bad man.ive neva been this "red" before.DP,eliss & isma went to the beach yesterday.we had our "summer beach" outing.hahaha.finaly.a day that had nothing to do with music or GAMES!!!or anything else.juz lepak at the beach.played chee ko pak in the water.haha.were also aspiring sand sculpturists.haha.had fun.then we went to eat at mc Dz.as the gals went off we sessioned at the back of vivo.finally.a proper acoustic set with su's voice in it.haha.oh & btw we saw alota beautiful ppl yesterday at the sentosa.haha.although all "ang mohs" they were all so wow wee wow.k.it was quite a bz week 4 me so let me recap

on thursday i went out with cna.to be honest i was a nervous wreck.i think its been like 6months or more since the last time i went out with another girl one on one.but it went better than i expected.we went to watch mr bean goes on a holiday.it was freakin hilarious sia.we laffed like hell sia in the cinema.haha.tak habez2 dgn "graciaz" dier & i went crazy when he was begging this lady for money & tried speaking french.ended up he was mumbling all the way.haha.freakin funny sia.then we walked & walked & walked.haha.we took a bus at ps to go to marina but ended up the bus din stop anywhere near marina.haha.it stopped at espla.so we walked AGAIN.haha.ate at the marina foodcourt.boy oh boy.cna may be small & short but she can def eat.haha.she bought a hor fun chicken thing.it was like huge but she managed to finish it by herself.then we went to buy ciggies at 7-eleven.haha.funny sia.the floor was shaking vigorously then we were like.eh.y ah?earthquake eh?padahal kat atas they were doing construction werks.haha.then we lepaked at esplanade.talked & talked.sheesh.i tot i had a long relationship of 3 yrs.hers was like 4 or 5 yrs man.datz freakin long.then i sent her home.nice place sembawang.ver clean.then she intro me to her neighbours.it was nice to see the neighbourhood very like friendly ah.all lepak togther.nope.nt the mats nor minahz tau.but makciks & aunties instead.haha.yeah.then we sat at the playground infront of her block & talked again.her mom kept callin her to go up.she went up when her mom like called her on the 5th time.haha.it was nice goin out wit her.very simple laid back kinda person.i had fun.

then on fri i met wan.went for the "interview" at his hotel which consisted me of just filling in a form.haha.dat was it seh.hahaha.but im having 2nd tots on the job ah cuz ill have to shave my beard man.damn.haha.see how lah.then we went to meet his friend who werks at Gant at taka cuz wan was suppose to go for a job interview.went to pacifil plaza for his interview then went to paragon & heeren.all this while his friend was accompanying us.supposedly he was werking.but oddly enogh his 1 hour break came to be a close to 2 hours break.haha.slack sia.haha.we then went to eat at esteller at far east.then bumped into the crazy azrie & his frenz.tak habez kacau aku psl rahima jer.hahah.then wan & i wnt off to penin to search for some pants or wateva.we went our ways at like 7 or so.i met aidil & eliss.headed dwn to suntecs starbuxx.su joined us a while later.

sat was a slack day.jammed for only an hour cuz su was late.he had floorball training.nvm.understandable.then we headed down to dwn twn east chalet for a birthday chalet by anvea frm the band misissued.ish.actually i was half hearted to be there.cuz apparently we all aren't aquanted to her.but eliss needed company.so we tot wat the hell.like evryone was there.the bands.the ppl.haha.but it was gd to minggle around & meet new ppl.i juz wished that the rest of the boys wud be more open & interact more with the ppl.nvm.oh & there was this super hot "ang moh-mixx with like chinese-or dun noe wat" babe!!!!hahah.she was wearing this white dress.& her ermmm."assets" may i call it.haha.were perfect man.haha.all of us kept starring seh.haha.k.wait.i juz noticed this post is like really super long.hahaha.k2.i think ill stop for now.haha.till next time
baywatch auditions

i had no other choice but to sensor my "belly" to protect those who are ill-fainted.its for the best of the public eye.....hahahahah

||my heart.bled||2:44 PM

Saturday, March 24
i don't know what to say or what to do.or shud i say what "not" to do.but i gez sum ppl are right.i can't rely too much on what i want.i can't have high hopes.it sucks to kinda feel that what they say is true.that having high hopes wunt get you anywhere or give you anything other then pain & misery when you don't get it.but i just can't help then to hope.to have it all back.the beautiful moments.the laughter.the feeling of all the warm & fuzzy unexplainable things that go thru my stomach.the sigh of relief when im in the bus thinking of how grateful life can be.as much as i dun like listening to ppls advice i cant help but to think that what they say makes sense.but...at the same time.y?y cant one have high hopes?y izit wrong?but at the same time.y izit so heart wrenching??y izit so painful?i yearn for love.i try so hard.how do those guys who don't even bother & take it for granted get so much affection??.what special powers do they posses?.... i still can't beleive whats happened.but i gez all i can do now is wait & let things go by naturally.

a month ago.things were goin so well

||my heart.bled||2:31 AM

Wednesday, March 21
so much for replying calls.so much for the words that are said.i feel a sense of bias-ness of how im being treated lately.but what can i do.for i am no one.theres nothing i can do about it.all i can do is complain bout it.feel frustrated bout it.but i have to accept it.geez.am i really that worthless??..........

||my heart.bled||12:20 AM

Sunday, March 18
jamming with rahima last 2 weeks ago...
the picture below is actually very nice.except for the fact that i look so retarded ;p

||my heart.bled||2:38 AM

Friday, March 9
wow.i cant beleive what happened today!!duxton plains actually jammed with Rahima Rahim!!!yes Rahima from Singapore Idol!!she sang for us!!shes gonna sing for us at our upcomin gig at Hau Yi Sec.haha.ITS SOOO FREAKIN KEWL!!Rahima leh!!wahlau!!hahaha.so cannot beleive it seh!!!Rahima Jammed with us!!!Lepak wit us!!go 7-11 wit us!!take train wit us!!walk wit us!!!hahaha.i was in presence of a celebrity!!!!weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.so kewl man!!!haha.cant wait to rock out with her!!oh & the best thing was she smsed me after she gt back.saying she had fun & loved jammin wit us.sayin we were gd.weeee.dats really awesome man.oh & boy she can sing.& screamo too!!!haha.cant wait to rock the stage with her soon!!weeeeee.will put up pixx.will DEFINATELY put up pixx of our jammin wit her & the gig too.weeeeeeeeee.haha

||my heart.bled||1:10 AM

Friday, March 2
yeah.great.hmm.weird isnt it?wud it be weird if you went out with somebody, then he/she wud pick up calls or sms (that u actually dun mind) but when he/she goes out with somebody else he/she doesn't pick up yur calls/reply yur sms.i mean he/she wud say "Ya' know i hate calls & sms!!" but infact you see them checkin their hps (if not pickin up calls/replyin sms's) evrytime when their with you.so its like so evidential yet he/she is trying to deny it.wudnt you find dat weird?like is'nt that so In YOUR Face?hmm.i have no idea what im babbling about.but i definately know that im not pleased.not pleased at all after what has been said.what has been assured.

"weird how some things seem destined, yet uncertained"

||my heart.bled||10:19 PM